The Corpse Bridesmaid
by WitchGirl
Summary: Robin is lost in a swirl of nightmares and he cannot tell reality from dream. He has to rid himself of this affliction before he loses his life, or worse, his sanity. A PG13 ghost story with what I call a conveniently obvious twist ending.
1. Promise I'll Taste Like Her

The Corpse Bridesmaid

**Summary:** Just in time for Halloween. Nothing to do with the movie. Robin is being haunted. He doesn't know what's going on, only that he seems to be caught between a world of color and a world of black and red. Robin's in a limbo between a dream and a nightmare, but more strangely, he doesn't know which is worse.

**Setting:** Works just about anywhere in the series, really, but it's pretty much after "Trouble in Tokyo." No spoilers. It may seem AU at first, but don't be fooled—this will be in the Titanverse we all know and love.

**Pairing: **All sorts! Go crazy!

**Author's Note:** Now this won't make sense at first. Stick with it and I promise it will.

* * *

The day was gray. Robin looked up at the sky. Then down at the earth. Gray. Brown. Gray. Brown. He looked to his left. Black. His right. Black. He looked at the forest about thirty feet in front of him. More black.

The trees were bare and foreboding. The leaves were brown and dead and littered the ground.

All the pretty colors of fall had fled this place. The place where death walked.

Or more appropriately, the places were death slept.

To his left, Starfire was sobbing through her veil, a black handkerchief dabbing at her eyes. Her vibrant hair was hidden beneath her hat. Her skin was gray. Even Starfire's color had fled.

To his right, Beast Boy held his hat respectfully next to his heart as he gazed on. He did not cry, but he would not smile either. His green fur was dulled in the dim light, and his eyes were too.

Robin felt a large metal hand on his shoulder, the mechanic fingers clenching just enough to make him feel a little pain. Robin winced and Cyborg seemed to remember his own strength. He withdrew his hand. Robin turned to look at him over his shoulder and gave him a warm smile.

His eyes. Veins of red over blurred white. So. He had been crying too.

Robin looked ahead again, but past the image that was directly in front of him and into the forest again. Perched on the branch of one of the empty trees was a particularly large raven. It's head was darting around, left, right, up, down. Wherever Robin turned his head, it seemed the raven mimicked him. Or perhaps he mimicked the raven.

Just now, the raven turned its head and looked at Robin. Robin was disappointed. He was half-expecting the raven to have glowing red eyes, three of them if possible.

But the two bird's eyes were dark and dead.

Only one thing was red in this barren place.

It was the color of her dress.

He did not know why she was wearing a red dress. She just was. He didn't remember whose decision it was to dress her like that.

Indeed, Raven was the most colorful person at the funeral. Her skin seemed tanner in death some how, her lips painted as red as her dress, her long hair neatly brushed and washed.

There were two words that entered Robin's mind at that moment. Pulmonary Embolism.

Who knew? Who could have known? The great and powerful daughter of Trigon struck down by a blood clot.

Robin shifted uncomfortably and looked at the ground again. His black shoes in the brown mud.

The droning sound suddenly stopped and Robin realized the woman had stopped talking. There was a mechanical clicking sound and Robin felt the earthquake as Raven's body was committed to the ground.

Starfire let out an extra big sob. It made Robin angry, but he said nothing.

Stupid.

Next week they would be married. He felt trapped.

* * *

Next week they would be married. He felt liberated. He held her in his arms, breathed in the scent of her shampoo. Mangos and apricot.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," he whispered to her.

She looked nervous. "You do not think it is too soon?"

"Too soon? Damn, Starfire, it took us years to finally admit our feelings for each other, I don't think it's too soon at all."

Starfire laughed and blushed, bashfully. "We are just children, Robin. We have not even reached the age of twenty."

"No," Robin admitted. "But it feels so _right_."

"She's right you know," came a monotonous voice. "You two are barely legal."

Robin turned and threw Raven a wry look. "You're just jealous."

"Snowball's chance in Hell," Raven responded, a twisted grin on her face as she wrinkled her nose. "Thanks."

"If you ask me, you could use with a trip to Hell," Robin said. "You're as cold as outer space. When are you gonna get that icicle out of your ass?"

"Witty," Raven said, sarcastically.

Beast Boy burst into the room holding two different catalogues in his hand. "OK, so Modern Bride says that if you want to add a little flare to your wedding, you need more color. But Old Fashioned Wedding says that white is _always_ in. As for dresses, well, I personally recommend the one with the embroidery on the hemline with the plunging neckline—" Beast Boy stopped talking a moment and paused, then looked up and shook his head, fervently. "Not that I'd be looking or anything, it's just that it's so Angelina Jolie, and I thought—"

Beast Boy found himself with a magazine stuffed in his mouth as Raven walked past him out the door. Spitting it out, he continued.

"Anyways, as far as wedding cakes go, I think you can never go wrong with a marble layer cake, I mean—"

"Oh no," said Cyborg suddenly, "You stay away from the food, you hear me Beast Boy? Last thing I need is a soy milk cake and tofu crackers for appetizers."

"But it's something _everyone_ can enjoy!" Beast Boy whined.

"Why does 'everyone' always just mean you?"

"Everyone that _matters_," Beast Boy said, folding his arms.

"Food is _my_ territory. Besides, I already put in an order for pickles dipped in mustard."

"Mr. Chef made this choice?" Beast Boy said, eyebrow cocked.

"No," said Cyborg sharply, "But the future Mrs. Grayson did."

Beast Boy went as red as his green fur would allow. "Well fine." Beast Boy turned to Starfire and Robin again. "My best to both of you, I can see I'm no longer needed as a consultant."

Robin and Starfire laughed as he stormed out. Cyborg looked at the two of them, in each other's arms, and shook his head.

"Oh you two…"

* * *

"You two…"

He pulled away. Why was _she_ here?

She looked down. She was not happy.

"You two were always close…"

"How would you know," said Robin. "You have no memory of her."

"I do so," she said, sounding offended. "I loved you all."

"You died for us," Robin said, sounding more sarcastic than he'd meant to.

"Went to hell and back for you," she replied.

He finally looked at her, her dull blonde hair laying limply on her shoulders. She didn't wear a hat like Starfire's. Her dress was simple. Her blue eyes were now gray. Death had changed her.

"You're a liar."

"And Raven makes three," she replied.

"You're not making any sense."

"I never do."

They stood in silence a moment. Why was she talking to him? Why had she come here?

"What are you doing here, Terra?"

She looked lost a moment, then she sighed. "I suppose it's because I have no where else to go."

"So it's not because your friend just died."

"It's like you said," she said, with a shrug. "I have no memory of her."

"You are a liar."

"I'm just confused."

"So am I." Robin looked wistfully out at the window at the forest, then at the buffet table. "It's funny how we always have to eat. Even when someone dies, there's always a catering opportunity."

"Who's doing your wedding?"

"Beast Boy. I think he did it all wrong though. It's all Starfire, none of me. You might think that _they're_ the ones getting married."

"Beast Boy and Starfire, that's absurd."

"So's your presence here," Robin returned. "Listen, Terra. You're either dead, or you don't remember who we are. You can't have both."

"Can't I?"

"No," said Robin.

"I was under the impression I could have anything I wanted. Even if it was… pickles and mustard on my wedding day."

That comment sent a chill down Robin's spine. "What did you say?"

She chewed on a carrot. "Pickles. And mustard. Just something I threw out there, you know, random things. What are you guys having?"

"Tofu crackers," said Robin, sounding disgusted. "And fruit punch."

"No champagne?"

"Too young."

"Have it in Europe. You're sixteen, aren't you?"

Robin walked away from her without saying goodbye. She didn't follow. Cyborg was telling a joke.

"Two men walk into a bar and they both order a scotch on the rocks. One drinks it fast, the other slow. The latter man dies. Why?"

They all had great fun with guessing. Terribly gruesome things that disgusted Robin. Cyborg looked like he was about to burst at the seams, keeping such a hilarious secret to himself.

"Well, come on then, what is it? Tell us!"

Cyborg couldn't help it. He laughed as he told them the punchline. "The guy… poison… in the ice. It melted. Get it?"

"Cyborg, that's hilarious!"

"You have an eye for humor."

"Wonderful, old boy, wonderful."

All of a sudden, everything stopped. Robin turned and looked around. No one was moving. He searched out Starfire and found her by the window. She was in her wedding dress, and she was laughing.

There was a shadow right next to her. It looked like black snow from a television set that had lost its signal. It kept flickering. It was the only thing that moved.

There was something sharp. Terra was whispering in his ear. How had she moved to his shoulder?

"Imagine they switched. Would you be satisfied then?"

The shadow was gone. In its place stood Raven in the red dress, holding a knife. She grabbed Starfire by the hair and slit her throat. Starfire fell soundlessly to the ground with just a little gasp to alert anyone of her death.

Raven slid her finger along the blade until it bled with Starfire's blood, then painted her dull lips with it. She walked over to a stunned Robin. She smiled at him sinisterly as she pressed her body against him. He was terrified.

"Kiss me, and I promise you I'll taste like her."


	2. Begged Me To Do It

_**Author's Note:**_ OK, folks, I just wanted to reassure you that this has a fleshed out plot, and a reason to every little thing that's going on. And it WILL be explained. But I think this chapter will raise more questions than answers...

* * *

"Kiss me." 

"If you insist."

She tasted like cinnamon. He pulled away and smiled at her. "You really like that Big Red gum, don't you?"

Starfire giggled and smiled bashfully. "Well, it has a spice to it."

Robin laughed and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "Mm, yes, it's called cinnamon."

"A wonderful spice," Starfire said.

He kissed her again and they heard a scoff. Breaking apart, Robin couldn't help but roll his eyes behind his lids. He spoke before opening his eyes.

"Raven, do you just get a kick out of ruining the moment?"

"Just a little bit."

The two lovers broke apart to greet their friend.

"To what do we owe this interruption?" Robin asked.

"Cyborg and Beast Boy are fighting over the main dish," Raven explained. "Cyborg wants chicken or fish, by Beast Boy wants pasta or tofu."

"I shall help them find a compromise," said Starfire. She kissed Robin on the cheek. "I will see you again soon."

Raven watched Starfire leave. Robin was immediately uncomfortable.

She turned to look at him inscrutably. "You really thought I was jealous, didn't you?"

"Raven…"

"You really don't think it's too soon, do you?" Raven asked. "You, Starfire. Marriage. Really."

"Always a bridesmaid…" Robin started.

"I will _never _be a bride," said Raven, crossing her arms stubbornly. "Not if I can help it."

"Marriage too holy for hell-spawn?" Robin said.

"If that was the case, they would never have given _you_ two a license," Raven returned.

They were quiet.

"You're such a dick, you know that?" she said angrily. Robin was surprised.

"What?"

"You won't be there," said Raven. "I saw it. I saw it in my dream, you are going to _abandon_ her and she will die. Why?"

Robin laughed, but it was a nervous laughter. "Raven, it was just a dream. I love Starfire."

Raven gave him a twisted smile. "Dreams are never just dreams, Robin. You should know that."

Robin was angry. "You're accusing me of leaving my fiancé? Based on a dream? Oh please, Raven, even you aren't _that_ crazy."

Raven was incensed. "Oh, _I'm_ crazy? I'm not marrying someone in my teens! For God's sake, Robin, do you always have to grow up too fast? There's _life_ out there, things to experience, people to… Well you always did love to put the cart before the horse."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Robin said, approaching her. She did not back down.

"It means that you want to live in a retirement home before you go to elementary school, Robin, you're—" She cut herself off and sighed. "You're killing me, here."

"I'm _killing_ you?" Robin laughed. "So what, I'm a traitor _and_ a murderer now?"

"Never in my life have I seen anyone more miserable than you," Raven said.

"You don't look in the mirror very often, do you?" Robin returned.

"Robin, if you marry her, so help me God—" Raven started, in his face.

"You'll what, Raven? Object at the opportune moment?"

"_I_ won't do anything!" Raven hissed. "_You_ will never get the itch out of your system."

"Itch, what itch?" Robin said, confused.

All of a sudden, he tasted cinnamon. Her hands were on his cheeks and his eyes were closed. He put his arm around her. Her lips were soft, her caress gentle. He faintly smelled the sharp scent of lavender. When their lips parted, he did not close them. He relished the taste.

"Starfire, you are…"

But as instantly as he tasted cinnamon, he tasted the metallic sting of blood. His cheek and tongue were in pain. She had slapped him, and he had bit his tongue.

"You son of a bitch," said Raven. "Son of a goddamn bitch." She shook her head as she took a few steps away from him. Robin put a hand to his cheek and threw the other one up in the air.

"I don't _get _it!" he exclaimed. "What in the name of hell just happened here?"

"_You_ just kissed another woman. And _enjoyed_ it!" Raven cried.

"_You_ kissed me! _And_… And I forgot that you aren't…"

"That's right, Robin, I'm a long shot from Starfire," Raven said.

"You're right," said Robin, suddenly realizing. "You have a taste for Big Red gum?"

"I stole a piece from Beast Boy earlier today," she said. "No big deal."

Robin walked over to her and stroked her cropped hair. He smelled the lavender again. Sharp and sweet.

And then, just like that, they threw down their arms and surrendered the fight.

Her kisses were like a thousand knives. And he needed to bleed.

* * *

On second glance, she wasn't bleeding. Terra wasn't near him, and Cyborg was still laughing at his morbid riddle. Starfire was in her funeral garb, chatting amiably with Beast Boy. Raven was buried underground. 

Robin felt cold.

He spun around immediately and saw the shadow again, but only for a second. He'd seen it near Terra. For the first time that day he felt that something was not right.

He made a beeline for Terra and grabbed her by the collar.

"I feel like I'm seeing clearly for the first time all day. What the hell is going on here?"

Terra was flustered. "Robin, you're hurting me!"

"Not yet, but I can," Robin hissed, pushing her up against the buffet table. "Just tell me one thing, Terra. Why pickles and mustard?"

"What?" Terra exclaimed.

"You said pickles and mustard."

"It was just something! I pulled something out of the air, it meant nothing!" Terra insisted.

"Then why do I feel like it does."

Terra looked at him, then folded her arms. "What, Robin? Finding meaning in the most frivolous of things, are you? You're becoming quite the philosopher."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin demanded.

"You always did love to put the cart before the horse. Find the answer before you even know the question."  
Robin felt that eerie sense of déjà vu again. "Who are you?"

"I'm Terra."

But Robin looked at her and shook his head. "No. None of this makes sense. One minute, Raven's in a coffin, and the next, she's slitting Starfire's throat."

"That's not all that's going on," said Terra. "Haven't you noticed?"

Robin frowned. "I don't understand."

Terra smiled at him wickedly. There seemed to be a flash of lightening. The lights went out. When they came up again, Terra and everyone else in the room was gone.

Left alone, Robin looked around. The buffet table was swept clean of food and covered in a white sheet. The black and white checkered floor was dust covered and gray. The large fireplace in the north end of the room was black and covered with soot. Robin frowned.

He heard something, but couldn't tell where it was coming from. He followed the sound down the hall until he could hear it as weeping.

He found Starfire alone in a room. She was wearing her wedding dress and was facing the corner. Robin walked over to her, with the intention of comforting her. He put his hand on her shoulder. When she turned to look at him, he realized that her hands were not at her face to tend to her tears, as he had assumed, but they were clutching at her neck.

Blood seeped out from under her hands like the mascara that leaked from her eyes. Her dress was streaked with red. She looked like she was trying to say something to Robin but he backed away.

"What the hell is going on here?" Robin stuttered. He backed right into someone. He spun around instantly.

Raven's eyes were as red as her dress. Her fingers traced the last button on Robin's shirt and her fingers walked up his tie. She grabbed it and pulled him in to kiss her.

Robin gagged and pulled away. He coughed into his hands and realized why she had tasted so hideous.

He looked from the weeping and spluttering Starfire, to the sinister Raven, to his hands in disgust. He licked his lips and tasted that same vile, metallic taste.

He didn't know how, but he knew that the blood that covered his hands belonged to Starfire.

* * *

Starfire sat in front of her mirror and brushed out her hair. He watched her from the doorway. She seemed to sense him as she stopped. She turned to look at him and smiled. 

His heart sank. He loved her so much. He felt so filthy.

"Starfire, I think we should talk."

She frowned, then rose gracefully from her seat and approached him. She nodded, expectantly.

"Well, I… Um… how are you?"

She smiled, and shrugged.

It was then that he realized she hadn't spoken a word to him. Did she know? His blood ran cold.

"Um… why aren't you talking?"

She pointed at her throat. "Sore."

"Right, right!" said Robin, suddenly understanding. "Sorry."

"S'OK," said Starfire, hoarsely. She rubbed her neck and Robin frowned.

There was a scar.

He ignored it.

"I think… maybe, um, maybe we should postponed the wedding."

She looked surprised, then shook her head vehemently. She coughed and then seemed to strain to speak, but he stopped her.

"No, no! Don't speak, not if it hurts."

She ignored him. "Alerted home. Galifore… they're coming. And…" she smiled, bashfully. "I know that I said before…" she shrugged. "But I am excited. Not too soon at all."

Robin smiled and caressed her cheek. She was so beautiful. He couldn't hurt her.

"Alright," he said.

"That all?" she asked.

Robin hesitated, then smiled. "Yeah. That's all."

Robin left Starfire's room feeling dejected. He couldn't tell her. He passed Raven in the doorway to her room and didn't even notice.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

He jumped at her voice and spun to see her pale face. "Um… I was going to."

"You didn't have the guts, did you?" she sounded almost disgusted.

Robin approached her swiftly and grabbed her sternly by the shoulders. "Listen. She's too fragile, alright? She's too perfect. Don't."

"I wasn't going to," said Raven.

"Good," said Robin. "Let's keep it that way."

He turned on his heal and began to walk away. Raven once again caught him off guard, but with her words, not with her voice.

"I only did it because you were begging me."

Robin rolled his eyes and turned around. "Right, I was begging you."

But Raven was grinning, an unnaturally wide grin. "You were screaming for it. You were trapped and you knew it."

"Raven, I didn't ask you to—"

"You asked me every day," said Raven, walking slowly towards him. "With every little death, you were screaming in your head, 'Do it! Do it! Someone, please, just slit her throat!' So I finally did."


	3. Grave Dancer

_**Author's Note:**_ You're questions? The ones you've been having? Well... I told you there was a point to it all. PS: If you get confused as to what's happening, for the record, it's kind of the point. If Robin can't figure out what's going on, well, why should we be able to?

* * *

Two seconds flat and Raven was against the wall. Robin had pinned her there. He was breathing heavily, angrily.

"You're _not_ Raven," he insisted.

He wasn't in the Tower anymore. He was in the mansion by the graveyard. He was in the room with the weeping Starfire.

The Raven in the red dressed did not speak. She was paler than usual. Her skin was rough. Her eyes were wide and round. Her nose was shrinking away and her smile was twisting into a wide grin that literally stretched from ear to ear.

As he clutched her wrists in his hands and pinned them to the wall he felt something flakey in his grasp. He pulled his hands away and realized that the palms of his hands were bubbling. Raven's skin was dissolving in his hands. They burned as the acid ate away at his flesh. He screamed and pushed Raven away, now a skeleton with course, purple hair growing out of her scalp. She reached out a decaying hand and grabbed his chin. He screamed again as it burned him. She kissed him again, but this time it was as though she was trying to eat him. His lips burned, his tongue became swollen. He swallowed what felt like gallons of acid. He tried to break away from her, tried to push this corpse off of him, tried to scream for help.

The next thing he knew he was on the ground. She was sucking the life out of him. And as he lay there, dying, burning, spluttering blood and acid, all he could think about was Starfire.

_I never wanted you to kill her. I never wanted her dead. I never, never, never wanted any of you dead._

Terra's voice drifted into his head. "Oh you are such a liar."

Robin screamed, though he didn't know how. His vocal cords had been burned away by the acid Raven had vomited into his mouth. The world was black and sickly crimson. He couldn't see Raven anymore, but he felt her skeletal hands everywhere, he tasted Starfire's blood, he smelt decaying flesh. He heard Terra's voice. He felt terribly claustrophobic. He tried to speak, but his abnormally large tongue only let him make unintelligible grunts and gurgles. He felt like he was drowning.

"You're afraid of her because she's doing what you wanted," Terra's voice echoed in his head. "She killed Starfire, so you would be free. And what you taste, it's only a sample of what you're in for when the devil gets you."

Terra's face appeared now. He was sitting in an old, splintered electric chair. She stood by the switch. He begged her not to throw it, but his clumsy tongue couldn't make the right sounds. She cackled and pulled a black mask over her face. The whole room was black but for her gray eyes. Like cats eyes, they watched him, narrow and with slits for pupils.

"I'm not evil, Robin," said Terra, her voice deepening, becoming dark and demonic, contradicting her words. "I've been misrepresented. I keep the balance. Evil exists in human beings. The good are rewarded, but evil, which is blamed on me and spirits like me, evil humans are punished. We keep the balance, the demons and I."

It occurred to Robin vaguely that maybe he had wanted them dead. Wanted them all dead.

It was this thought that scared him most of all.

Terra. Raven. Evil.

What?

"The seventh layer of Hell is reserved for traitors and mutineers." Terra ripped off her mask to show a medusa-like transformation. Her eyes were gray as stone, but she had grown fangs, and the serpents which writhed on her scalp hissed at him angrily. "You understand. You and I, we're the same. We both belong there."

She pulled the switch and Robin thrashed about in his chair. Lights flashed, everything came in jolts. He couldn't move, he had no control over his muscular functions. Every muscle ached and screamed all at once, in flashes, fast, in slow motion. There was a faint buzzing in his ears. His head banged again and again against the back of his chair. He faintly smelt something burning. He couldn't scream, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move.

Electric shock is far from a humane way today.

Especially when you forget to wet the sponge.

* * *

"Robin? Robin, are you awake?" 

It was Cyborg. Robin blinked.

He was in the hallway of the tower, just outside of Raven's room. They were all kneeling around him. He had a pounding migraine. He gasped for air. His muscles ached as though he'd run ten miles without stretching.

"What happened?" As he spoke, he realized he felt nauseous. He groaned and turned his head to the side. He felt a little disoriented.

"I was trying to talk to you," said Raven. "You fainted."

Robin remembered the nightmare. "I dreamed you died…" he said.

"All of us?" said Beast Boy, sounding shocked.

"No," said Robin. "Just Raven."

Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at Raven, whose face was blank. "Makes sense to me," said Cyborg. Raven hit him.

"Then she killed Starfire," said Robin.

"What?" said Starfire.

"Wait, she died, and _then_ she killed Starfire?" said Beast Boy.

Starfire shook her head. "Raven would never…"

Robin furrowed his brow and rubbed his eyes. "I also dreamed that Starfire and I were engaged." Starfire grinned and blushed.

"Well that's ridiculous," said Raven. "You guys can't legally do that yet."

"Technically they could, with parental consent," Beast Boy said, feeling smart.

"We don't have parents," said Raven.

"Wait, I'm confused," said Beast Boy.

"I think I'm the king of confused," moaned Robin. "Why do my muscles ache so bad?"

"Sorry about that," said Cyborg, laughing a little. "When you were unconscious, we needed some quick cash."

Robin's eyes flew open. He frowned as he stared at the ceiling. Then, he turned his head to Cyborg. "What do you mean?"

"The dark market is a fair source of income, when you know what is in demand," said Starfire with a grin. "Do not worry. We did not take your brain."

"Huh???" Robin tried to sit up, then realized he couldn't move. Cyborg looked at Starfire, then at Robin.

"Well, we were just talking about it when you groaned. We decided to hold off."

Robin tried to move again and couldn't. His brain screamed to his nerves to do something, but all his nerves did was scream back in pain. "What did you do to me?" he asked, breathless. He realized he wasn't in the hall, as he'd thought, but in the medical wing on a flat, cold, steel operating table. All his friends were wearing gloves covered in blood and sand.

"We filled up the extra space, so you could survive," said Cyborg. "We took out the organs and put in sand instead."

Robin raised his head just enough to see his chest cracked open, overflowing with blood and sand. Raven had a sewing needle she just threaded.

"Don't worry," she said, monotonously. "We just need to sew you up. This won't hurt a bit."

* * *

For the first time the real world opened its eyes. 

Something was missing. It was quite obvious what it was.

He was lying, twitching, screaming, sweating in the middle of a gave yard, turning, twisting, screaming, dying…

He had danced on a grave and now, he was paying the price.

His friends, they were not there. They were far from there.

He had disappeared a few nights before, led by the voice that told him he needed to go to the graveyard, he needed to go to his friend's funeral.

Like a sleepwalker, he followed blindly, believing every whisper, believing every ghostly hint that everything he heard and saw and felt and knew was true.

After all, reality, like morality, is relative to the person perceiving it.

_Now who's becoming the philosopher?_ thought the shape shifter as she sat cross-legged on top of a tomb. She tilted her head and watched him squirm in feverish delirium. She smiled. She looked up at the night sky and wondered when his friends would come to save the day.

She wondered if they would die before they found them.

His progress was impressive. He had already realized that something was different in his reality. It took other victims weeks to notice that the life they were living was not what they were used to.

The mind is an interesting place. The shape shifter knew that above all else. But this one… Robin's mind was probably the most interesting one she had ever feasted upon.

She continued to watch him writhe as though he was suffering great pain. She wouldn't know if he was or not. She had never been in his position.

It did look painful, though. She supposed it would hurt, to be slowly lobotomized, to be eaten from the inside out, to be hollowed out like a jack-o-lantern by careless knife-happy children. She supposed this was how a pumpkin felt on Halloween.

She heard a noise and she stiffened. Could they have found him already? Impossible. Humans were fools. A man goes missing, they check his usual haunts. They check buildings and streets.

No one checks the graveyards.

Only the dead dwell there.

The shape shifter slithered off of the tomb and kneeled in front of Robin's head. She brushed his wet hair back from his eyes. She wiped his brow and licked her finger. The salt refreshed her somehow. Sweat and blood, human fluids, human flesh… they fascinated her.

They would. She missed having a body. She loved everything carnal. She craved it like vampires craved blood, and for a similar reason.

We always want what we don't have. Vampires lack a beating heart, so they crave the warm fluid that makes it pump. I lack a corporeal form, so I crave it constantly.

But what vampires and I have most in common is that we are damned. We selfishly take from others what will only sustain us for a short time. We take their lives to temporarily slake our thirst. But we will never satisfy our hunger permanently. We are doomed to wander the earth constantly unsatisfied, and our only reason for existing is to search for quick fixes.

The shape shifter smiled. She was putting the boy to rest. She was giving him a gift that she would never be able to attain in her existence: peace. She did not believe that anything she was doing was wrong. After all, just like reality, morality is relative.

* * *

The night was dark. And Robin had been gone four days. The Titans would not relent in their search. They all did what they did best. 

Beast Boy did constant aerial sweeps of a city as a hawk so he could see as clearly as possible every detail of the city.

Cyborg took the ground approach, driving down every street, every alley, even every driveway.

Starfire did a bit of both aerial and ground exploration, checking and double checking every place that Beast Boy and Cyborg might have missed.

Raven sat cross-legged in her room, searching for Robin's unique mental signature.

After six hours of constant meditation, Raven finally broke her calm with an angry screech and threw a book at the wall across the room. Partly thanks to the last six hours of concentration, nothing exploded.

Nothing, that is, except Raven's patience.

She fell back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Cyborg, Starfire and Beast Boy collectively had searched every nook and cranny of the city physically, and she had done the same spiritually. Why could none of them find no trace of him? It was like he'd dropped off the map somewhere.

Four days ago, Robin had gone to sleep. In the morning he was gone, and his communicator was out of range.

The state police were on alert. Robin's story had made national news under the headline, "Superhero Abandons His City."

It infuriated Raven. Robin would never abandon anything, although that had been what it looked like. His bed was neatly made, and some of his things were gone. It's like he'd packed up and left.

But that was too fishy for Robin. He'd done a lot of crazy things in the past, but this… He would never do this.

So the conclusion they drew was that he had been stolen away form them. So Cyborg immediately checked the security tapes.

Their findings only fueled the media's story.

Robin was captured by the camera awakening from his sleep at about 2:48AM. He walked to his closet and put on a long black coat and a black hat. He packed a small suitcase, made his bed, fixed his mask, and walked out into the hall. He then posted a note on the fridge alerting them that they were out of milk, and then walked out the door.

There was no intruder. There wasn't even a mysterious disappearance. Just a note that said, "We're out of milk, go shopping."

What an odd farewell notice!

There was, however, no proof from the video that indicated that he didn't expect to return.

The Titans hoped more than anything that maybe this little trip was just a much needed sabbatical, and soon Robin would return. And then they would yell at him. And then he would explain, and they would hear the whole story, and the world would see that Robin never abandoned his city.

The Titans could only hope.

After all, their efforts in scouring the city were fruitless. The only logical conclusion was that he wasn't there. He must have left Jump City. Did he leave the state?

Raven growled, exhausted and frustrated. She raked her hands through her hair and fell back on her bed.

"I think I'm the only one who's accepted it," she said to no one in particular. "But maybe we'll never find him."


	4. Already Seen

_**Author's Note:**_ This story will be updated either daily, or if not daily, than every two days or so, until Halloween when I'll post the last chapter, just to let y'all know. Also, as far as the pairings in this fic, remember it's firstly a little PG-13 horror more than a romance. I seem to have a lot of Rae/Rob shippers though. Believe me, kids, I'm keeping that in mind as I finish up the story. I'm not one to disappoint my readers.

* * *

Robin found himself waking up with his friends around him. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu. 

"Rob, man? You OK?"

The voice was Cyborg's. He frowned. His head was pounding.

"I feel like we've done this before," said Robin. He saw Starfire and Raven exchange looks. "Did I… Did I wake up before?"

"You were awake about two minutes ago," said Raven. "We were talking in the hall. Then you just passed out."

Robin remembered clearly now. Everything that happened. Of course. He'd been talking to Raven. He started to walk away when he began to feel woozy. And then, he supposed, he passed out.

Cyborg reached a hand to help him up. "Think you can stand?'

Robin put a hand to his head and tried to do just that. His legs felt weak and heavy beneath them, like someone had filled them with cement or…

"You look a little wobbly there," said Beast Boy, taking Robin's arm around his shoulder as Cyborg supported his other side. "You doin' OK?"

"Perhaps he should eat more, yes?" said Starfire.

Robin frowned at her. She was blurry, but he could tell that she was wearing…

"Why are you in your wedding dress?" he squinted further. "And why is it streaked with—"

"Robin!" Starfire exclaimed, covering herself. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!"

"How's the luck about seeing a corpse before the funeral?"

All the Titans, confused, turned to look behind them. Terra stood at the end of it, goggles on, pointing a gun. She didn't pull the trigger, but there was a small sound, like a little girl's gasp. They turned to look again, and it was Raven, little Raven. She was dressed in white and doubled over. She looked at her hands and Robin was surprised to see blood on them. Little Raven had been shot in the stomach.

"Hey Raven, I think you've got something on your shirt," said Cyborg.

Beast Boy shrugged. "Don't worry, it shouldn't be too hard to get out."

"I've washed blood out of my clothes before," said Starfire, and Robin turned to look at her now. Her neck was bleeding all over her wedding dress, but she kept speaking. "All you need is a little bleach."

All of a sudden, Robin was pinned to the floor by the Raven in the red dress.

He found himself in the old mansion by the grave yard. Raven was straddling him, pinning his shoulders to the floor, a look of grave intensity across her features. Her long hair fell in front of her face and Robin could feel it tickling his cheeks. She looked down at him and smiled.

It caught him off guard because she was particularly beautiful. All her makeup was perfectly in place. Her eyes were warm. Robin opened his mouth to speak, but she put a finger to his lips.

She leant in slowly to kiss him. She tasted like cinnamon. She smelt of lavender.

He felt at home. He felt relaxed. He felt… strangled?

Raven's hands were around Robin's neck. His mouth was open, trying to find air. Then she pulled a bottle of bleach out from behind her and poured it down his throat.

"Starfire was right," said Raven. "All you need is a little bleach."

* * *

Robin found himself waking up with his friends around him. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu. 

"Rob, man? You OK?"

The voice was Cyborg's. Robin felt very confused. His head hurt. He groaned.

"Have we done this before?" His voice seemed to echo.

Starfire was within his vision instantly. "Robin! You are not well."

"None of this is making any sense…" Robin said, groggily. There was a thumping in his head, like jungle war drums.

"Of course it doesn't," came Cyborg's voice from somewhere. "You've been unconscious for four days."

"What?" Robin looked around and blearily noted that he was in the medical wing. His heart sank as he remembered. He became afraid. "No… No! No, don't touch me!"

He sat up immediately and his head began to spin. He laid back down. Then it occurred to him. He could move. Just to check the reality of this theory, he flexed his fingers. He looked up at Starfire, frightened. "Don't… Don't let them hurt me, Starfire."

The girl's eyes widened with pain and worry. She stroked his hair and wiped the sweat away from his brow. "Oh Robin, what has happened to you?"

"His vitals look good," came Cyborg's voice again. "Running a few more tests. I'll be right back, gotta get the results from his CT."

"Where have you _been_ dude?" Beast Boy asked. It was then that he realized Beast Boy was even there. Everything was going so fast. Bright… The lights were so bright. Robin felt nauseous. And this time, it wouldn't go away.

He turned away from Starfire and vomited on the floor. There was silence.

"Ew."

The deadpan voice could belong to no other but Raven. Robin could barely make her out, standing in the corner. She slowly floated over to the table.

"But don't worry about it," she said, equally expressionless.

Starfire was still stroking his hair, but her speed had increased. Like if she'd stopped, then she would lose him again. "Robin… where have you been?"

"What?" said Robin.

"You left without a word…" tears were welling in Starfire's eyes. "In the middle of the night…"

"Well, he didn't leave completely without a word," Raven pointed out. She favored him with a rare, albeit sarcastic smile. "You informed us we're out of milk."

"You wouldn't believe the hours the police spent pouring over that note!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "As though it was a secret code or something." He laughed. Robin welcomed the laughter, even though it was obviously done out of nervousness.

"We found you in a coffin," Raven said, and for some reason her voice saying it bothered him more an anything. "All… tuxedoed up like you were going to a wedding."

"Or a funeral…" Robin didn't know why he said it. Neither did his friends.

"We searched all over the city for four days," said Starfire.

"Straigh," Raven added.

"And when Raven couldn't find you with her mind powers…" Beast Boy started, but trailed off.

"And when we found you in that coffin…" Starfire said.

"Let's just say we thought the worst," Raven finished for both of them.

"But then, Cyborg said you were breathing," Beast Boy explained.

"And that you had a pulse!" Starfire added.

"In short, that you weren't dead," Raven said.

Robin squinted up at Starfire. He caressed her cheek. He sighed with relief.

"Thank God…" he said, smiling. "Thank God it's you."

Starfire blushed, but smiled at him.

"And thank God it's _you_!" said Raven. "We really thought we'd lost you there, Robin. You still haven't told us. What happened to you?"

Robin closed his eyes and shook his throbbing head. "No, no, no, I don't know…"

"There are too many questions. We must let him relax." Starfire was not asking, she was insisting. "We shall let him alone until Cyborg returns with the results of his tests."

But Robin's arm shot out to grab Starfire. "No!" he exclaimed. "No, Starfire, please don't leave me."  
Starfire looked at Raven and Beast Boy, then down at Robin. "I believe Cyborg said you needed rest…"

"Guys?" The voice belonged to Cyborg. He must have just entered the room. "Can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

His voice sounded grave. Robin didn't like it. Starfire looked down at him and placed her hand over Robin's, which was still clutching her other forearm. She gave him a warm smile.

"We won't be long," she whispered, soothingly. "I promise."

Robin held his hand tightly and shook his head, dead serious. "I swear, Starfire… I don't know what happened to me, but I'm…" He'd been through so much, he didn't care what she thought of him. He sighed. "I've never been more scared in my life and what's worse, I don't know why. I don't like it. I don't feel like I'm in control anymore. Something's going on, Starfire, something bad."

"Hush," said Starfire, kneeling down to look him eye to eye. "You are safe now."

"I know…" said Robin. "I know, and thank God you found me, Starfire. Thank God I'm here."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, before rising to her feet and meeting the others outside.

Robin sighed as he lay on the hospital bed and stared at the black ceiling. He closed his eyes and felt the relief wash over him. Even his headache seemed to fade away. He took a deep breath and felt like he was beginning to smile.

But when he opened his eyes again, he was lying in the middle of the black and white tiled floor in the mansion by the graveyard.

And all the memories came flooding back. Raven's death. Starfire's stained wedding dress. Terra the executioner. The corpse. The bleach. The cinnamon kisses… Lavender and Mango…

No.

_No!_

Robin was screaming. He was in a loop of nightmares that he couldn't crawl out of. Even when he felt for sure that he'd found his way out he'd somehow slipped back in again. All of a sudden, he couldn't help it. He began to cry with frustration. He knew now that he had to be dreaming, it was the only explanation. He just needed to wake himself up. But how?

Staring up at the vaulted ceiling, he realized he had another, more immediate problem.

Hanging from the rafters like a bat was a large, angry, demonic raven.


	5. Deja Vu

Robin found himself waking up with his friends around him. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu. 

"Rob, man? You OK?"

The voice was Cyborg's. He frowned. His head was pounding.

"I feel like we've done this before," said Robin. He saw Starfire and Raven exchange looks. "Did I… Did I wake up before?"

"You were awake about two minutes ago," said Raven. "We were talking in the hall. Then you just passed out."

Robin remembered clearly now. Everything that happened. Of course. He'd been talking to Raven. He started to walk away when he began to feel woozy. And then, he supposed, he passed out.

Cyborg reached a hand to help him up. "Think you can stand?'

Robin put a hand to his head and tried to do just that. His legs felt weak and heavy beneath them, like someone had filled them with cement or…

"You look a little wobbly there," said Beast Boy, taking Robin's arm around his shoulder as Cyborg supported his other side. "You doin' OK?"

"Perhaps he should eat more, yes?" said Starfire.

Robin frowned at her. She was blurry, but he could tell that she was wearing…

"Why are you in your wedding dress?" he squinted further. "And why is it streaked with—"

"Robin!" Starfire exclaimed, covering herself. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!"

"How's the luck about seeing a corpse before the funeral?"

All the Titans, confused, turned to look behind them. Terra stood at the end of it, goggles on, pointing a gun. She didn't pull the trigger, but there was a small sound, like a little girl's gasp. They turned to look again, and it was Raven, little Raven. She was dressed in white and doubled over. She looked at her hands and Robin was surprised to see blood on them. Little Raven had been shot in the stomach.

"Hey Raven, I think you've got something on your shirt," said Cyborg.

Beast Boy shrugged. "Don't worry, it shouldn't be too hard to get out."

"I've washed blood out of my clothes before," said Starfire, and Robin turned to look at her now. Her neck was bleeding all over her wedding dress, but she kept speaking. "All you need is a little bleach."

All of a sudden, Robin was pinned to the floor by the Raven in the red dress.

He found himself in the old mansion by the grave yard. Raven was straddling him, pinning his shoulders to the floor, a look of grave intensity across her features. Her long hair fell in front of her face and Robin could feel it tickling his cheeks. She looked down at him and smiled.

It caught him off guard because she was particularly beautiful. All her makeup was perfectly in place. Her eyes were warm. Robin opened his mouth to speak, but she put a finger to his lips.

She leant in slowly to kiss him. She tasted like cinnamon. She smelt of lavender.

He felt at home. He felt relaxed. He felt… strangled?

Raven's hands were around Robin's neck. His mouth was open, trying to find air. Then she pulled a bottle of bleach out from behind her and poured it down his throat.

"Starfire was right," said Raven. "All you need is a little bleach."

* * *

Robin found himself waking up with his friends around him. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu. 

"Rob, man? You OK?"

The voice was Cyborg's. Robin felt very confused. His head hurt. He groaned.

"Have we done this before?" His voice seemed to echo.

Starfire was within his vision instantly. "Robin! You are not well."

"None of this is making any sense…" Robin said, groggily. There was a thumping in his head, like jungle war drums.

"Of course it doesn't," came Cyborg's voice from somewhere. "You've been unconscious for four days."

"What?" Robin looked around and blearily noted that he was in the medical wing. His heart sank as he remembered. He became afraid. "No… No! No, don't touch me!"

He sat up immediately and his head began to spin. He laid back down. Then it occurred to him. He could move. Just to check the reality of this theory, he flexed his fingers. He looked up at Starfire, frightened. "Don't… Don't let them hurt me, Starfire."

The girl's eyes widened with pain and worry. She stroked his hair and wiped the sweat away from his brow. "Oh Robin, what has happened to you?"

"His vitals look good," came Cyborg's voice again. "Running a few more tests. I'll be right back, gotta get the results from his CT."

"Where have you _been_ dude?" Beast Boy asked. It was then that he realized Beast Boy was even there. Everything was going so fast. Bright… The lights were so bright. Robin felt nauseous. And this time, it wouldn't go away.

He turned away from Starfire and vomited on the floor. There was silence.

"Ew."

The deadpan voice could belong to no other but Raven. Robin could barely make her out, standing in the corner. She slowly floated over to the table.

"But don't worry about it," she said, equally expressionless.

Starfire was still stroking his hair, but her speed had increased. Like if she'd stopped, then she would lose him again. "Robin… where have you been?"

"What?" said Robin.

"You left without a word…" tears were welling in Starfire's eyes. "In the middle of the night…"

"Well, he didn't leave completely without a word," Raven pointed out. She favored him with a rare, albeit sarcastic smile. "You informed us we're out of milk."

"You wouldn't believe the hours the police spent pouring over that note!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "As though it was a secret code or something." He laughed. Robin welcomed the laughter, even though it was obviously done out of nervousness.

"We found you in a coffin," Raven said, and for some reason her voice saying it bothered him more an anything. "All… tuxedoed up like you were going to a wedding."

"Or a funeral…" Robin didn't know why he said it. Neither did his friends.

"We searched all over the city for four days," said Starfire.

"Straigh," Raven added.

"And when Raven couldn't find you with her mind powers…" Beast Boy started, but trailed off.

"And when we found you in that coffin…" Starfire said.

"Let's just say we thought the worst," Raven finished for both of them.

"But then, Cyborg said you were breathing," Beast Boy explained.

"And that you had a pulse!" Starfire added.

"In short, that you weren't dead," Raven said.

Robin squinted up at Starfire. He caressed her cheek. He sighed with relief.

"Thank God…" he said, smiling. "Thank God it's you."

Starfire blushed, but smiled at him.

"And thank God it's _you_!" said Raven. "We really thought we'd lost you there, Robin. You still haven't told us. What happened to you?"

Robin closed his eyes and shook his throbbing head. "No, no, no, I don't know…"

"There are too many questions. We must let him relax." Starfire was not asking, she was insisting. "We shall let him alone until Cyborg returns with the results of his tests."

But Robin's arm shot out to grab Starfire. "No!" he exclaimed. "No, Starfire, please don't leave me."  
Starfire looked at Raven and Beast Boy, then down at Robin. "I believe Cyborg said you needed rest…"

"Guys?" The voice belonged to Cyborg. He must have just entered the room. "Can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

His voice sounded grave. Robin didn't like it. Starfire looked down at him and placed her hand over Robin's, which was still clutching her other forearm. She gave him a warm smile.

"We won't be long," she whispered, soothingly. "I promise."

Robin held his hand tightly and shook his head, dead serious. "I swear, Starfire… I don't know what happened to me, but I'm…" He'd been through so much, he didn't care what she thought of him. He sighed. "I've never been more scared in my life and what's worse, I don't know why. I don't like it. I don't feel like I'm in control anymore. Something's going on, Starfire, something bad."

"Hush," said Starfire, kneeling down to look him eye to eye. "You are safe now."

"I know…" said Robin. "I know, and thank God you found me, Starfire. Thank God I'm here."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, before rising to her feet and meeting the others outside.

Robin sighed as he lay on the hospital bed and stared at the black ceiling. He closed his eyes and felt the relief wash over him. Even his headache seemed to fade away. He took a deep breath and felt like he was beginning to smile.

But when he opened his eyes again, he was lying in the middle of the black and white tiled floor in the mansion by the graveyard.

And all the memories came flooding back. Raven's death. Starfire's stained wedding dress. Terra the executioner. The corpse. The bleach. The cinnamon kisses… Lavender and Mango…

No.

_No!_

Robin was screaming. He was in a loop of nightmares that he couldn't crawl out of. Even when he felt for sure that he'd found his way out he'd somehow slipped back in again. All of a sudden, he couldn't help it. He began to cry with frustration. He knew now that he had to be dreaming, it was the only explanation. He just needed to wake himself up. But how?

Staring up at the vaulted ceiling, he realized he had another, more immediate problem.

Hanging from the rafters like a bat was a large, angry, demonic raven.

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_ In case you read through that whole thing and realized there was something familiar-- or in case you were bright enough to realize this chapter was a repeat and skipped to the end of the page to see if it changed, good on you. One of my favorite Stephen King lines is "Hell is repetition." The truth is, Robin's in a loop. And every event that happened in the last chapter could have looped. In fact, I allude to that a lot. Hence the purpose of this chapter. Yes, every word (but the author's note) is identical to the last. You may call it superfluous, and flag the authorities (I'd rather you tell me first). But this repeated chapter was not a glitch. It had a point.

I wouldn't have explained this, except I knew I would have gotten a lot of comments about the "repeated chapter."


	6. Jack O' Lantern

The little boy lay scared beneath the tall oak tree.

It was four days before Halloween and the jack-o-lanterns were coming out to play, peeking outside from behind window curtains, and spying on passersby on doorsteps.

The jack-o-lantern was a strange creature. Its face, though always different, often betrayed its sinister nature. But the jack-o-lantern, much like the boy under the tree, was hollow inside. Its sinister nature was bestowed upon it by the one that carved out its insides. Its evil was not its own.

The expert pumpkin carver sat cross-legged beneath the tree, with the little boy's head in her lap.

The weeping had begun.

It made him seem smaller somehow, the tears that leaked from his eyes. She tended to his tears with a tissue and stroked his hair like a mother. Softly, she sang a lullaby to him from her youth. First, she started humming, but then she smiled as she sang the words.

_"Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, From glen to glen, and down the mountain side…"_

The notes of the Irish lullaby drifted up above the trees and were picked up by the wind.

The boy stopped crying. His torturer liked to think that it had something to do with her melody. You see, she didn't hate her victims. On the contrary, she loved them dearly. It was why she chose them so carefully. She envied them. Everything they felt, from the most hellish pain to the most heavenly pleasure, she longed to feel again. Any of it, all of it. She slowly absorbed their pain like a drug. She savored every drop of sweat. She slowly took over.

That was why she had to kill them. So she could become them.

* * *

They were beginning to despair. It had almost been a week now, and they still couldn't find him. They had stopped looking. But not with Starfire's consent. 

"We've searched every inch of this city!" Cyborg cried, throwing up his hands. "There's nowhere left to look!"

"Perhaps he has moved! We should check all locations again!" said Starfire. She was floating three feet above the ground, her hands raised and cradling fiery starbolts, ready to fire at any moment.

Cyborg looked weary. "Starfire… We've checked and double check every tiny little place in this city he could have gotten into. I… I hate to say we can't look anymore, but—"

"Then we should expand our search!" Starfire cried. "To the entire state! To the entire nation!"

"Starfire, that's more than irrational, it's damn near impossible!" Cyborg said. "Cops have done nationwide searches before… If someone doesn't want to be found, or if someone is hiding someone else, then—"

"You _hate_ him!" Starfire acused, in tears now. "You will not search, and therefore you hate him!"

Beast Boy intervened. "Let's not jump to hasty conclusions here, Starfire—"

"It's because I love _you_ guys that I'm telling you to stop!" Cyborg returned. "Not because I _hate_ Robin!"

"But you do not deny it!" Starfire screamed.

"I thought I just _did _deny it!" Cyborg said, now becoming both weary and confused.

"We must find Robin!" Starfire was steadfast. "He would not relent if it was one of us even if we _had_ searched for an Earth week, even if we had searched for a _Venetian_ week, which, for the sharing of information, is substantially longer. Cyborg, he would not cease to search for _you_!"

"Yes he _would!_" Cyborg yelled back, finally raising his voice to her level. "He would because he would see what it was doing to his team. Raven, who's taciturn anyway, hasn't said a _word._ I am at my wits end here trying to keep this group together. You've become aggressive and reckless. And Beast Boy hasn't _touched_ Super Sharp Ninja Nine since Robin's gone missing, do you know what that _means_?"

They were quiet a moment. Beast Boy was silently thinking to himself that the only reason he hadn't touched his favorite video game all week was because he'd been too exhausted from searching, but decided to keep that to himself. He also wondered if Starfire would surrender now. But she would not back down.

"It only means that we need Robin back all the _more_!" she insisted. "What else are we to do without…" She seemed to not be able to finish. She slowly descended to the floor and her hands dropped to her side, the starbolts dissipating. "Without him…"

Cyborg walked over to her sadly and put his hand on her shoulder. "We try to deal."

There was a second of silence, and then Starfire burst into tears.

Raven was only half paying attention. While the others argued about whether or not to continue the physical search, she still concentrated on the mental one.

Something tugged at the back of her mind. Halloween was fast approaching.

_What does it matter…_ she thought, and pushed the pointless idea away.

_Strong magicks about on Halloween…_ the thought persisted. Raven paused in her search.

"What's the date?"

At first, no one answered her question. They were just surprised she'd opened their mouth to them at all. Beast Boy was the first to react.

"Um… er, uh… Monday?"

"Not the day of the weak, you twit, the _date_," Raven hissed.

"The 27th," Cyborg answered for him. "Why?"

"There are places…" Raven said. "Places my mind can't go."

"What are you talking about?" Beast Boy said.

"There are planes of existence other than this one," Raven said. "It's hard, no, _impossible_ for someone like me to breach them on any other day… but Halloween."

"Are you suggesting that you believe Robin is dead???" Starfire squealed, terrified. In all their talking, they'd just referred to the lack of Robin as his "disappearance." They'd never mentioned death. Not out loud.

Raven turned to her. She was not one to beat around the bush. "Yes."

Starfire looked pale. He knees gave out beneath her and she fell down onto them. Raven turned to the boys, who she noted were equally as wan.

"Cyborg's right. This has taken a lot out of us. The only way we can ever really move on is to know for certain what happened to him. Finding him dead is better than never finding him at all."

The others did not acknowledge it, but they knew that Raven was right. She was just the only one to speak candidly about it.

"Could we…" muttered Starfire, with bated breath, "Could we possibly… speak with him?"

"No." Raven was firm on this. "Even on Halloween, the dead and the living have to always remain completely separate. All I can do is find out if he's still here, or if he isn't. I cannot make contact. I cannot hear him, speak to him, or anything like that. It's not like a séance or anything."

"How cliché…" Beast Boy muttered.

"What?" Raven said. Beast Boy looked up.

"Huh? Oh, nothing… just that… well… Halloween. You only being able to sense the dead then, well... It's so… well, B-rated horror movie, you know?"

"Mm," Raven said, but was obviously not amused.

"Do it." They all looked at Cyborg, who stood firm with his arms folded. He bit his lip then nodded firmly. He looked up at Raven. "On Halloween. Do it."

Raven nodded.

It was about to end there. The Titans began to disperse. But Beast Boy had one last question.

"Do you have to do it at midnight or something?"

They all turned to look at him. He quickly explained himself.

"I mean, if you want to complete the cliché, it _has_ to be done at midnight, with candles, and hand-holding, and a crystal ball, and…" He trailed off at their stern looks. "OK, right, Halloween, do it, Raven!"

The other Titans nodded, and quickly went to be alone.

* * *

As soon as Robin realized it all couldn't be real, he leapt to his feet, battle ready, and gestured at the raven. If he was going down, he sure as hell would go down fighting. 

"Come and get me," he whispered.

But instead of flying at him, the raven screeched and the room around him began to dissolve. All that was left was the black and white floor and oblivion. Robin felt a distinct sense of vertigo and looked for something to hold onto. He felt he might fall off of the floor into… what?

"So, you figured it out at last."

Robin turned on his heal to see Terra, slowly walking towards him. She was dressed as she always was, goggles hanging around her neck. But her eyes were still grey. The clop, clop, clop of her shoes echoed into the nothingness. "Who are you? And no more crap."

"I must say, I thought you were catching on a while ago, but no. A beautiful moment of lucidity, and then back into the descent of madness."

"So I was right," Robin concluded. "I am dreaming."

"Not quite," said Terra. "Close. You're dying."

Robin almost felt his heart stop right then and there. "What? But this is just—"

"A dream?" Terra tossed her head back and laughed. "Robin, you should know by now. Just because it seems surreal, doesn't mean it's not dangerous."

"You never answered my question," Robin said.

"That's because it has no answer," Terra answered.

"You're the thing that's killing me." Robin sounded calm about it, but inside he was screaming. She heard.

"We have a regular Sherlock Holmes on our hands," said Terra.

"If I'm going to die," said Robin, inscrutably, "I at least want to know the identity of my killer so I can come back and haunt you."

"Robin, it's I who is haunting you," Terra replied calmly.

She had crossed the distance between them now and the clop, clop, clop stopped. There was absolute silence. There was no wind, no sounds in the distance. Just nothing. They were inches apart from each other.

"You're a ghost?" Robin half-guessed, half-insisted. What else could she be?

"Close as you'll get," said Terra.

"You're a witch," Robin now wholly insisted. Terra tossed her head back and laughed. She put a finger to her lips.

"No, silly goose." And slowly, she morphed, her hair growing darker, her eyes changing color, she grew taller, she wore a veil, a white dress. And then, she kissed him. She smelled like mangos and apricot. "I'm your wife."

The next thing Robin knew, he was standing at an altar. Starfire was squeezing his hand as they stared at a drab looking priest. The stained glass windows were black and white and the floor was gray. In the pews were countless blank faces… and upon closer look, Robin noted that they were quite literally blank, without eyes, without noses, without mouths…

Someone was tapping him on the shoulder. He noticed it was Beast Boy, who shoved a pillow in his face. He saw a ring. Vaguely aware of what he was supposed to do with it, he took it from the pillow and looked like it.

It seemed stupid to him, but the ring reminded him of the one from Tolkein's famous novels. It was a simple wedding band, no embedded gems, no obvious engravings of love… He wondered what would happen if he slid it on Starfire's finger. Would she mutate into a small, ugly creature with a humped back? Would her eyes glow as red as Raven's?

There was a cough. Robin looked up and noted that the nondescript priest looked impatient. He looked behind him and saw both Beast Boy and Cyborg waiting expectantly. He looked at Starfire, her smile bright, her eyes wide and loving. But then he noticed the people standing behind her. There were three women, two of them were faceless, like the wedding guests, but all three of them wore identical dresses. The third was Raven.

He recognized for the first time the dress that Starfire had chosen for her bridesmaids' dresses. The crimson dress Raven was buried in, when Robin was in some other reality.

But though she wore her funeral dress, Raven did not look like she was plotting murder, or like she was going to dissolve into dust and bones. Her hair was cropped, her eyes were violet, and she was holding a bouquet of lavender.

The priest coughed again and Robin looked at him. "Look, can't I savor the moment?" he said.

The priest grumbled. He looked at Starfire. Her vibrant hair was once again hidden by a veil, though this time it was white. Her hand was extended, eagerly awaiting him to slide the ring on.

But instead of sliding the ring on her finger, Robin's eyes drifted over to Raven. She was watching him inscrutably. He wanted to say to her, Look, Raven, look at me, I'm here, I didn't ditch her at the altar, your dream was wrong.

But then he realized that it wasn't her dream he needed to worry about. It was his own.

He turned to Starfire again. "Why is Raven wearing red?"

Starfire's face fell. She looked behind her at Raven, and then back to Robin. "I… Well, Beast Boy and I wanted…"

But Robin was watching Raven. She looked miserable in that color. Or was she miserable because Robin was marrying Starfire?

She spoke to him. "Give her the ring, Robin."

Robin was startled. "Is that a threat?"

Starfire sounded like she was still trying to explain why they had chose red as the color for the dress. That, or trying to ask Robin questions as to why he was acting peculiar. Whatever she was saying, he couldn't make it out. It was as if she was trying to speak to him through a wall.

Raven's stare did not waver. Slowly, she pulled a dagger out of nowhere. It was identical to the one Robin had seen her wield before.

Instinctively, Robin grabbed Starfire and pulled her away from Raven. Starfire was looking at him, baffled. She obviously didn't see Raven's dagger, or she didn't understand why Robin was afraid of it.

Terra's voice echoed in Robin's head. _This is the way it is supposed to happen._

Raven approached them slowly, deliberately. But right as she was about to slice Starfire's throat, Robin threw Starfire aside and kicked the knife out of Raven's hand.

_Not in this dream_, Robin dared Terra's voice.

They fought. Raven was quite agile in her dress. They were all over the church room. Until Raven finally pinned him against the wall. She smiled at him, but her eyes were sad.

"Before you do it," she whispered. "Just know I did it all for you."

Robin was slightly confused. She was the one who pinned him against the wall, and yet she sounded like she was admitting defeat.

_Well, good,_ Robin thought. He raised his feet to his chest, using the wall as a spring board, and kicked her right in the solar plexus. She fell back and began to sputter. She was coughing. Robin didn't understand at all. He ran to her.

"I didn't mean to kick you that hard…" Robin said.

Raven shook her head and smiled. "I don't die from your kick, Robin, remember?"

"What?"

"Two words," said Raven, her hair growing fast, her skin becoming rougher, paler. She sat up and stared at him with blood red lips. "Pulmonary embolism. Remember?"

And he did. He stood up and backed away instantly. Somehow, he smelt the distinctive sulfurous odor of burning matches.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ In case you were wondering, one Venetian day is aproximately 243 Earth days. Additionally-- SHIPPERS! Of all sorts. In the beginning I said pairs were "all sorts, go crazy" because, if you haven't noticed, everything IS going crazy. Robin needs to figure out what's real before he can figure out something as complicated as romance. But I WILL say this-- there are definitely allusions to Robin's leanings so far as this fic is concerned. Much of it was intended to be a little metaphorical of his relationship with all his friends, including (later) scenes with Beast Boy and Cyborg. Even Terra's personification in this story has a little bit of my own metaphorical point. It's complicated though. So don't think about it too hard, we aren't in English class, just enjoy the story. 


	7. Unholy Union

_**Warning:**_ The next chapter makes things very confusing.

* * *

It was three days before Halloween. October 28th. Robin had been missing for 10 days. Raven sat alone in her room. Though she had forbidden anyone from disturbing her, she knew that Starfire was sitting anxiously outside her door, waiting for news. That she knew without any meditation what so ever. 

Cyborg had interrogated her about the spell to an extent that would have made Robin proud. He was particularly worried that she was using it so soon. But Raven said that the only reason Halloween was so important was the Earth's position in relation to Venus. Since Venus was about to cross between the Earth and the Sun, the solar energy wasn't as strong, which effected the already volatile magicks that were alive in the Earth's atmosphere. She didn't have to be exactly on Halloween. After all, she'd told him, we _aren't_ one of Beast Boy's horror movies. Venus was already on its path.  
She lit a candle and began her warm ups.

She knew the essences of her friends as well as she knew her own. She could sense Starfire's outside her bedroom, her suspicions confirmed. She reached out her mental probes to the garage and found Cyborg was anxiously trying to keep busy by working on the T-Car, though nothing was wrong with it. Beast Boy was similarly trying to keep occupied by finally picking up the controller for the first time in ten days and playing Super Sharp Ninja Nine. She knew Beast Boy so well that she could tell that he was losing. Beast Boy never lost that game unless he was preoccupied.

Knowing that she could sense her friend's auras so strongly, Raven felt confident enough to extend her probe into the nonmaterial world.

She whispered a few words from her books that she had memorized. The scene was different than Beast Boy's corny horror movies. Instead of gaudy dress, crystal balls, and an abundance of candles, Raven sat on the floor on her own, dressed normally, with only one candle sitting in front of her.

As she spoke the words of a dead language, the flame of the candle grew taller. The smell of smoke grew stronger. She used the intoxication a lack of oxygen to the brain brought to blur the lines between existence and nonexistence to find the limbo in which such paranormal unproven entities existed. Like ghosts with something left to finish.

She found her mind floating in an alternate Jump City, a world of black and gray. There were plenty of entities she sensed. What they were, she could not discern, not even on Halloween. All she could tell was that they were everywhere, and every one was different from the last. She didn't care about those. None of them felt like Robin.

A scan of the immaterial world was simpler than a scan of the material one, for there were fewer places to look. She found something peculiar though, in her sweep of the dead city. There were still places in this word that she was barred from entering. Some force forbade her from searching an area of the city.

She would not give up so easily.

She first tested the barrier lightly, pressing up against it. It did not move. Frustrated, she rammed her mind against it.

All of a sudden, something happened that never happened to her before. She began to hear something…

At first, she had thought it was someone outside of her meditation, Starfire perhaps, speaking, making noise. But as she concentrated harder, she could tell that it was coming from beyond the barrier. She strained to hear, but it was like trying to eavesdrop on someone in the next room. She could make out no words, nor any distinct sound, just that there was sound.

And then she knew she had to get beyond that barrier.

* * *

As the shape shifter brushed back Robin's hair, she stiffened. Something was happening. Not in his world, but in hers. She disappeared a moment, to a realm of almost-existence. 

Her meal was being interrupted.

She was angry. It was the half-demon of Robin's mind. She knew the character well. She had played the demon herself on occasion. It would not be difficult to get rid of the pest. Interference in his world would be much trickier to deal with. But the demon was invading on _her_ turf. And the shape shifter knew just the way to get rid of her.

* * *

Robin found himself in the middle of a bleak looking church among a dozen faceless wedding guests who weren't even looking at him anymore. Cyborg and Beast Boy seemed concerned with getting the ceremony on and over with. Starfire was examining her nails. And the priest was coughing, impatiently. 

But Robin and Raven were locked in mortal combat, or, as it would seem, immortal combat as one of them was visibly decaying. Robin grabbed a nearby wedding guest and unsheathed a sword from his belt. The corpse Raven did not seem intimidated as her dagger grew into a long sword. Metal on metal clashed as they began the fight.

"Tell me something, Terra," Robin said loudly as the battle continued. "Why the red dress?"

Raven's sword crossed his and she pushed it towards his shoulder. Her rotting crimson lips answered him. "Why _not?_"

"Raven wouldn't be caught dead in that dress," Robin said with some strain, forcing the girl off of him.

The corpse laughed. "I beg to differ," she replied.

"This isn't working anymore," Robin said, thrusting his sword. "I'm not afraid of you. This is my dream, I can control it."

"That's where you're wrong," Raven said as she parried. "I have always been in control." She thrust her sword into the wall, catching Robin's sleeve. Robin looked down, and then ripped his arm away from the blade.

"How's that?"

Raven showed him the sword. She then pointed the blade towards her stomach and drove the sword deep in. It ripped her dress, but other than that, Raven had cocked an eyebrow. "I think you've forgotten that you can't kill what's already dead." She with drew the sword and began the fight anew.

"Well you can't kill me either," said Robin as he countered her moves. "I mean, God knows you've tried. You've drowned me in acid, you've electrocuted me, you've poured bleach down my throat, and hey look at that, I'm still here dueling with swords!"

Raven sliced at Robin's fingers. He gasped and dropped the sword. "You're missing one important point. I never said it was _your_ dream." By now, she held the blade next to his throat, right under his chin. He could feel it so vividly, the cold steel, the sharp edge pressing against his larynx. He was afraid to swallow. The pain from the wound of his hand was throbbing and he could feel the blood dripping down between his fingers.

Dreams had never before been so vivid.

Raven was so close to him now, he could feel her breath. She no longer smelt of lavender. She smelt of death. "It's mine."

Robin roared furiously and threw Raven off of him. They renewed the fight in earnest then. "Get the hell out of my head! Wake up! Wake up!" Robin yelled at the rafters, but he got no answer.

"Knowing it's a dream is not so reassuring," said Raven, "when you realize you can't wake up."

Robin refused to admit it, but she was right. All the pain he'd felt, it had been as if all of the things she'd done to him actually happened. He wondered… was it possible that the pain he felt wasn't just in his dream? Was he lying in a coma somewhere, his motor functions failing, his brain slowly shutting down? Was this really the last stages of his death?

He was certain that Raven heard his thoughts, but she did not answer them as they continued in their battle. Robin jumped up onto an empty pew and took a few steps backward. She pursued. He came at her from the right. His trap succeeded as she fell over the back of the pew. She recovered quickly and countered his attack, actually piercing his right side. Robin ignored the searing pain, but his left hand reached down to try and stop the blood. He kept right on fighting.

If this really was his death, he sure as hell wasn't going to lie down and take it.

"There's a way out," said Raven, as he forced her backwards down the aisle.

"What?"

"A way for you not to die," Raven explained. Slowly, her flesh began to regenerate, her hair began to get shorter, her eyes returned to violet. She was still wearing the red dress, but she now resembled his old friend more. Raven, still battling Robin with one hand, gestured at her body with the other. "But you'll have to kill me."

"I thought you said I can't kill what's already dead?" Robin said, sensing a trap. He forced her through the church doors out into the graveyard Raven had been buried in. The barren forest was there, and so was the raven.

"Do I look dead to you?" Raven said, with a mocking smile.

"Alright," said Robin. It sounded simple enough. She was just a figment of imagination after all. And what did he have to lose?

He made one hard thrust at Raven which she avoided deftly. He had embedded his sword into a tree. Robin spun around to see Raven, licking her lips. She was grinning at him.

"There's one trick," Raven explained. "I'm not playing anymore. The next time I kill you, you'll stay dead."

Robin pulled the sword out of the tree. "OK with me." They sparred a little, light attacks, almost as though they were fencing with foils. But she began to quicken the pace, and her attacks became more dangerous. Robin was still clutching at his side from where she'd stabbed him last. Her next thrust barely missed his throat.

No. This was too much. He was tired of dreaming. The nightmare needed to end.

With one loud battle cry, Robin made a fatal thrust. The second before his sword touched the red dress, Raven was no longer wearing it.

She gasped and dropped her sword and Robin's heart sank. Something was different.

Raven looked identical to how she did every day. Only now, she was bleeding from the stomach. She looked down and then up at Robin, her eyes wide, her mouth half open. She spoke with a whisper that Robin had not heard in ten days. "Robin?"

Somehow, Robin knew. Robin knew he had to get that sword out as fast as possible. He pulled it out and like it was the only thing holding her up, Raven fell to the ground. Robin caught her and eased her down. She was gasping for air, her breaths short and fast.

But no. It couldn't be. It was another trick. "It's… who are you?"

She closed her eyes, still breathing fast. She looked at him again, her eyes a deep violet. "It's me… Robin…"

He threw her down and she let out a yelp of pain. He stood up immediately and looked around, up at the gray sky, up at the black trees, anywhere. "No," he yelled. "No! No, it's another trick! Stop doing this! I never wanted to kill anybody! Not Starfire, not—Not RAVEN!"

"You seemed pretty keen on killing Raven thirty seconds ago."

Robin turned around at the voice and saw the cat-eyed Terra, staring at him in the steely grey. He looked from Terra to Raven to Terra again. "Take it back," he said. "Make it go away. Make me somewhere else. Start another scenario. Anything, just take it _back_!"

Terra looked at Robin. "I can't take this back, Robin."

Robin looked at the panting Raven, then back to Terra in a panic. "No. You said I could live. You said if I killed you, you'd let me live."

"You didn't kill me, Robin," said Terra, with a straight face. She slowly morphed to Red Dress Raven. "You killed Raven."

Robin's eyes widened. He didn't understand. It was impossible.

"But this is just a dream!" he insisted. He gestured at the Raven on the ground. "She's not real!"

"What am I, the frickin' Easter Bunny?!" Through her pain, she still retained her reliable sarcasm. That didn't reassure Robin at all. He returned to her side, lifted her head onto his lap. She looked up at him. She was smiling.

"You best damn well believe I'm real, Robin," she said.

Robin looked at Red Dress Raven, then down to the dying one in his arms. "I do," he whispered.

"I found you…" she panted. "I found you and…" She grunted in pain. "Ugh… I didn't know…" She looked around, franticly at her surroundings, eyes wide. "I have to go! I have to get out of here!" She grabbed onto Robin's collar. "Robin, please, tell me how to get out of here!"

"I've been trying to figure that out since I ended up here," Robin replied, in a whisper. "Raven… I'm sorry."

But Raven was gone. Robin stood up instantly and looked at the spot where she had been. He looked angrily at Red Dress Raven.

"Another lie!" he screamed.

But Raven shook her head. "Oh no, that was quite real," she said.

Robin shook his head, tired. "Why don't you just kill me then, you twisted bitch."

"Well, I'm having too much fun," Raven replied. She smiled at him with a skeletal grin.

* * *

Raven broke into reality like she was breaking the surface of a body of water. She gasped for air and fell forward, floundering. Her hands flew to her stomach. She felt it there, warm and sticky, a gash that had ripped through her clothes. 

She screamed so loud it echoed all throughout the tower.


	8. Chemicals

In actuality, she never needed to scream that loud. Starfire had fallen asleep, but she had been ready to wake up at any sign of life from Raven's room. She instantly pounded on Raven's door insistently.

"Raven! You are unharmed?" Starfire called.

There was no reply. Starfire frowned, then pounded on the door again with her fist. "Raven! You cried out! Are you harmed?"

At about that moment, Cyborg whirled around the corner and was speedily making his way down the hall. "I heard a scream, is everything OK?"

Starfire looked at him, worried. "Raven will not come to the door."

Cyborg knocked on the door. "Raven? Is everything cool in there?"

They heard a faint groan. Cyborg and Starfire looked at each other.

"That was a negative." The two Titans jumped and looked down at Beast Boy, who seemed to materialize out of nowhere. "Open the door, Cyborg."

Cyborg nodded and keyed in the code. He frowned.

"Access denied?!" He read in bafflement. "It's never said _that_ to me before!"

"Perhaps you mistyped the override code?" Starfire suggested, her voice anxious.

"This is taking too long," Beast Boy said. When Cyborg turned to snap at him, he noticed Beast Boy was gone. He looked at Starfire.

"Where'd the little worm go?" he asked.

Starfire pointed at the crack under the door. "I do not know much about his animals, but I believe that was… well, not a worm."

Cyborg sighed. "The grimy little roach!"

"Yes!" Starfire exclaimed. "That was the creature."

The door swiftly opened, but Beast Boy wasn't there to greet them. He was kneeling in a pool of blood, hunched over a dark figure. Cyborg joined him there.

"She's…" Beast Boy couldn't say it. "She _stabbed_ herself!"

"Not possible," said Cyborg, checking her position, pulse and breathing. "Where's the knife?"

"Is she well?" Starfire asked anxiously from the doorway. Upon seeing the blood, she couldn't go further.

"She looks…" Beast Boy began.

"She's fine," Cyborg said, firmly. "Well… except for the bleeding gut part." He looked up at Starfire. "She's alive… but she won't for long, help me get her to the infirmary."

* * *

Robin found himself waking up with his friends around him. He felt an odd sense of déjà vu.

"Rob, man? You OK?"

Robin's hand slid over his belly to feel his right side. It was sore. He was still wearing his wedding tux.

"Not this again…" Robin muttered.

"You passed out," came Cyborg's voice from the blurriness. "Again."

"It seems that I tend to do that a lot," Robin moaned. "What is this time? Are you going to steal my teeth to sell on eBay?"

"Um… as tempting as that sounds…" came Beast Boy's voice, "I don't think we'd get very many bids."

"I think you're underestimating Robin's fan base."

The dark voice made Robin shiver. His mask hid his bloodshot eyes. "Raven, I'm so sorry…"

"You should be."

"Raven!"

"Well it's true. Am I the only one who sees it? He left us in the middle of the night with nothing but a note, what other conclusion is there?"

"He did not leave with bad intentions…"

"Oh don't be naïve, Starfire, he left because he wanted to kill himself!"

"_Raven!_" This time Cyborg's voice had a silencing power that the girl obeyed.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, did not. "Well… I hate to mention it, Cy, but didn't you just—"

"Robin?" Cyborg wouldn't listen to Beast Boy. "Robin, open your eyes."

"They are open," said Robin. At least, by now they were. Cyborg was looking very grave in deed.

"I have your CT results. They're not good."

"What do they say?" Robin asked.

"That you're a psycho," Raven blurted.

"Raven!" Cyborg reprimanded. She retreated. He turned back to Robin. "Don't listen to her, she's upset." Raven opened her mouth to deny it, but Cyborg shot her a warning look and she begrudgingly closed her mouth. Cyborg looked at Robin again. "You have unusual activity in your brain."

"You don't have to tell me that," Robin groaned. "Someone's been messing with my head."

Cyborg bit his lip. "Actually… No. Someone hasn't been."

Robin frowned. "I don't understand. I saw it."

"No, you didn't," Cyborg explained. "Robin… I sent in your results to the Jump City Psychiatric Institute. They said that your kind of activity, in regions we barely see active in… other people… is normally present in paranoid schizophrenics. Which would explain your behavior recently."

Robin sat up. His side screamed at him. "No," he said. Then, he laughed. "Right. Never mind. You're right, it makes perfect sense." His friends looked surprised by his reaction. He told them not to be. "No, I mean, I get it now. This is the part where I'm supposed to say, 'Oh thank God, I'm just crazy,' while some parasite eats out my brain with a spoon, is that it?"

Cyborg frowned at him. "Robin, why don't you believe me?"

"Why should I? You're not real."

Starfire cast Cyborg a worried look.

"I don't get it," said Beast Boy. "You were ready and willing to believe we were real the last time you woke up."

"That's because you were the first logical thing that happened to me," Robin explained, very matter-of-factly.

"And we've changed somehow now?" Cyborg said.

"No," said Robin, "I have. I've figured it out. She said so herself."

"Who said so?" said Raven. "Some nonentity that's telling you of some non-conspiracy to eat your non-brain?"

Robin swung his legs off the table. "I don't know why I'm reasoning with you," he said. "I'm just going to get out of here and wait to be whisked away to somewhere else." He began to limp over to the door.

"Why are you limping?" Cyborg asked.

Robin rolled his eyes and turned to face him. He pointed at Raven. "Because _she_ stabbed me!"

As Cyborg approached him, he asked him where.

Robin pointed to his right side. Cyborg lifted the white shirt to reveal Robin's right side. It was completely unscathed. Robin looked down and shrugged. "I've also been poisoned and electrocuted, but that got better."

"Were you turned into a newt too?" Cyborg asked, sarcastically. Beast Boy snickered.

Robin pushed Cyborg away from him. "I admit it. I'm schizophrenic. In this reality, at any rate."

"That's just it, this is the _only_ reality!" Cyborg said.

Robin shook his head. "That's subjective."

Cyborg frowned at him. "I don't understand."

Robin nodded and explained. "When you're asleep, you're totally immersed in a different world. And until you wake up, you take everything at face value, as fact, whether you're defying the laws of physics, or dancing with elves."

"That's not _real,_ Robin, it's just—"

"Then define reality," Robin interjected. "What you see, hear, feel, taste and smell. Am I right?"

"This isn't a philosophy lecture!" Raven exclaimed. "Robin… listen to him. You're sick."

"And you're dead," Robin replied. "But you don't see me treating you any different." He turned to Starfire. "You and I? We're engaged. Or married. I don't know, I lost track." He looked at Beast Boy. "You haven't played Super Sharp Ninja Nine in over a week, and _you_," he said, turning to Cyborg, "find humor in some disgusting jokes."

They were quiet a moment until Cyborg finally spoke. "What do you know about… your other realities?"

"I'm somewhere else. I mean, physically, somewhere else," Robin explained. "Something is killing me. You guys are looking for me. I somehow killed Raven and…"

"And Beast Boy hasn't played Super Sharp Ninja Nine in a week," Cyborg finished. "Robin, if you haven't been with us for a week… how do you know this?"

Robin was ready to give a completely logical explanation for that when he stopped. "Because… you said so…" he said, his eyes glazed.

"And when did I say this?" Cyborg asked.

Robin couldn't believe what he was saying. "When you and Starfire were arguing about… Oh God…" He fell into a nearby chair. How _did_ he know all this? How did he know what happened in the Tower when he was supposedly somewhere else, fighting some parasite that had trapped him in his own nightmares. He tasted something vile in his throat. Suddenly, his side didn't hurt anymore. He'd imagined it? All of it?

From his chair, he looked around the room. It was identical down to the very last detail to how it always looked. Even the vent was missing a screw from the far left hand corner, one Cyborg was supposed to have replaced weeks ago.

The problem was that it was just as real as everything else he'd been experiencing lately. Frustrated, he raked his hands through his hair. His hair was oily, with stiff remnants of gel clinging to his scalp. He needed to shower, and then he needed to buy more gel.

More milk.

That's right. He'd gotten up because he'd remembered he needed more gel. He was checking what else they needed. Milk. The note had been to remind himself to go to the grocery store. But why did he leave?

Because there was a funeral. He had to go to Raven's funeral. And then he was going to the store to buy some hair gel. When he ran into Terra at the reception, he'd forgotten all about the milk and gel.

Without warning, Robin opened his mouth and let lose a slew of swear words Cyborg never even knew existed. Raven covered Beast Boy's ears. He batted her hands away. Robin ended his profane speech with a frustrated "son-of-a-ARRRGH!" as he looked up at the ceiling, pulling out his hair.

He began to take deep breaths. This was really pissing him off. He raked his hands through his hair again and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Just to clarify," he said, staring at the floor. "Terra isn't around is she?" Robin was vaguely aware of the Titans shifting. They were probably exchanging looks too. He sighed. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

His friends were silent. Robin had a feeling that none of them, not even the sharp-tongued Raven, could think of anything to say. He shook his head. "You guys have no idea how annoying this is."

What was worse, Robin didn't know if or when he was being tricked. Now, he was a little confused as to who was doing the tricking, but the only thing he was sure of was that there was some sort of trickery going on. He didn't know if Cyborg was really Cyborg, telling him he was just crazy, or if the Red Dress Raven and her Terra counterpart were really messing with his head. At that moment, just in case Cyborg was real, he decided to go with the schizophrenia plan.

"OK, so I'm a schizophrenic," Robin said. "You guys exist, and everything else is wrong. You guys are the real you." He paused. "Do you _promise_ me that?"

They looked at each other. Beast Boy reached over and pinched Raven.

"Hey," she said, hitting him in the arm. He looked pensive a moment, then nodded.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can guarantee we're real," he said.

"You doubt our sincerity?" said Starfire. "You think we are deceiving you?"

"Well _something_ is!" Robin said, "I think we can all agree on that."

At that moment, the alarm started flashing. Cyborg looked over his shoulder, then to Robin, who was already on his feet.

"What's going on?" he asked. Cyborg checked the monitor on his arm and looked up at Robin.

"Listen," he said. "You're gonna stay here."

"You're kidding me," Robin said, flatly.

"If you're crazy, we need to sort that out before you hit the crime-fighting scene," Beast Boy said.

Raven nodded and shrugged. "And if you're not, well… Then I guess there's no crime to fight right now is there?" She was being dry. It only made Robin more annoyed.

"Go," he muttered. "My head has a little explaining to do."

They left him there alone in the room. He did not make the same mistake as last time. His eyes remained wide open.

"Alright, I have a question," he said loudly, to no one in particular. "What's with the mind games, huh? If you're really some brain-eating parasite, and I don't know why I think you are, then why mess with me first? And if you're just a bunch of chemicals in my head, well then…"

In truth, he had no question in that instance. The only one that didn't make sense was the former. With the latter, everything fell neatly into place. His paranoia, his absent-mindedness, his dreams, hell, even his imagined illnesses could be the result of a chemical imbalance.

Nonetheless, he clung viciously to the chair he sat on with both hands. If he was going to disappear again into another dream world, he damn well was taking that chair with him.

So he waited.

And he waited.

And nothing happened. He looked up at the ceiling and cocked an eyebrow. "So what, this is it?" There was no reply. "Come on. The scene is over. Everyone is gone. It's just me now. Isn't it time for a little change of pace?" Nothing. Not even the quiver of a wall that might not really be there. "Terra? Mental Illness?"

Robin slacked his grip on the chair and slumped over. Whatever was tricking him seemed to be on its lunch break. He wondered what would happen when it returned. But more importantly, he tried to figure out if he was just stuck in another illusion, or if the faces he had woken up to were truly the faces of his friends.

He looked up at the ceiling again. "I don't suppose you're going to be any help?"

Silence answered him.

Time passed. He might have fallen asleep. He didn't know. All he knew was that he was awoken by a voice.

"There's still one scenario you're not taking into account."

There was no one in the infirmary. Robin rolled his eyes. "Goodbye reality, hello Mental Illness."

"Hello." She still carried Terra's voice.

Robin sighed. "What scenario am I missing, then?"

The scene before him dissolved. He was used to this by now. "This one."

He was watching himself, in a sense. The other him laid on a real hospital bed, hooked up to machines that were too complicated to be maintained by Cyborg in their small medical wing. There was an EKG which steadily beeped away.

The conscious Robin shrugged. "What is this, an out of body experience?"

"Just a possibility," Terra's voice told him. "I told you that you were going to die. You can be sure I'm not lying about that. You can choose how you believe it will happen."

"What are you talking about?" said Robin.

"I am giving you a choice," Terra said, her voice colder. "Which death would you prefer?"

"Isn't there an option where I survive?" Robin asked.

"I can't allow that," said Terra.

"Then it seems we're at an impasse." Robin remained calm. He turned on his heal and exited the hospital room.

The disease had not had time to create a world outside of the white room. Robin stepped into blackness and kept walking.

There was no sound. No light. No scent, not the tiniest hint of lavender or mango. But he kept walking.

He wondered vaguely if he'd walked straight into death's face. If reality was defined by what we could see, hear, smell, taste and feel, then he experienced none of that. For the first time in days, there was nothing that told him where he was, what he was doing, if he was even _doing_ anything at all.

He kept walking. At least, he thought he was walking. He wasn't so sure.

He kind of hated metaphysics. He had always liked what was right in front of him. The mind, existence, dimensions, it made his head hurt.

But the man who liked to have everything right in front of him was now faced with a whole lot of nothing. Ironically, the metaphysics he preferred to ignore as the background noise of life cranked up the volume until he had to recognize it. It literally laid gift wrapped at his feet in a neat little package.

Robin stopped walking. He wondered if his mind would catch up with him. He thought he looked over his shoulder to where he'd come from. But there was no sign of the hospital. Maybe he hadn't moved at all.

Liquid cold rushed through his veins as he realize his situation.

So he was going to die. Somehow. Maybe knowing what was going on wasn't so important. Hell, maybe he already was dead and didn't know it.

Yes, Robin hated metaphysics with a passion. He hated philosophical quandaries. He hated riddles. He was stuck in the middle of one. There was absolutely nothing he could do. He couldn't even sit down. He didn't even have a chair to clutch to anymore. Damn him and his habit of tempting fate.

Indeed, Robin was out of ideas, and apparently so was his overactive imagination. There was no way out of the loop. All he could do was wait to die.

Or to be whisked away by another delusion.

Robin was in a dream that he could neither control nor wake up from. His mind kept telling him that there had to be something he could do. But rationality got the better of him.

He knew he was doomed.


	9. Romeo Bleeds

Raven's eyes shot open. For a moment, she wondered if she'd dreamt it all. Perhaps she did dream some of it

Just trying to sit up informed her that she had not dreamt all of it. Wincing a little bit at the pain radiating from her stomach she lied back down and laid her head on the pillow.

Her throat was incredibly dry. But she knew she wouldn't be able to walk to get water. She hated feeling helpless.

"How are you feeling?" The voice was low and quiet. For a split second, Raven wondered why Robin was speaking so strangely. And then she remembered that it wasn't Robin.

"What… I mean…" she began to cough. Cyborg handed her a glass of water. She gratefully gulped it down and tried to speak again. "It's like someone shoved gauze down my throat." She looked at him accusingly. He smiled grimly.

"You've been to the hospital and back you know," Cyborg said. "I couldn't handle that much loss of blood here. It's not like we have a blood bank after all."

"Mm, blood," Raven said, licking her lips. She smiled wanly. "Is it still today? I mean…"

"You've been passed out for two days," Cyborg said. "October 30th."

Raven blinked at him. "You're kidding."

"'Fraid not."

"Then there's time for me to try again!" Raven exclaimed, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Hell no!" Cyborg insisted, pushing her back down. "I don't know if you noticed or not, girl, but you've been gutted. Something pierced you clear through. You're lucky to be alive."

"It was Robin," Raven explained with a fire in her eyes. "I couldn't get through at first, but the barrier gave way and he stabbed me. It was _him, _Cyborg, I'm _telling_ you."

But Cyborg backed away. His face was inscrutable. "All that means Rae… is that he's dead."

She sat up again and forced the pain to the back of her mind. "No, it doesn't. Because he spoke to me. He _stabbed_ me. The dead cannot have an effect on the physical world. Some part of him is still alive somewhere. He's trapped there. He has no way out. But all we need to do is find out what's trapped him there and we can _help_ him."

"_You're_ not doing anything," Cyborg said. "Not after that stunt you pulled. No more magic, Raven. It damn near killed you. Hell, Robin damn near killed you. Maybe… maybe it wasn't even him anymore."

Raven's eyes flashed with a fiery determination. "I know my own friends. Believe me, it was him."

"Regardless, we'll deal with it. You need to heal."

"I can heal myself," Raven replied.

"Not easily," said Cyborg. "Not a wound like that."

Raven didn't admit it, but she was surprised she hadn't healed it already. "Just bring me my books."

"No."

"Who died and made you Robin?"

"_Robin_ did."

Raven did not respond at first. She looked away from him, despondently. "I miss not fighting with you."

It was true. Before Robin's disappearance, Raven and Cyborg had never clashed. In fact, Cyborg had taken Raven's side in many arguments, whether she was sparring with Beast Boy or challenging Robin's decisions. The two really had much more in common than they'd initially realized. Or at least, Raven thought they used to. Not now, now that things had changed.

Cyborg sighed. He'd never seen Raven express anything like that. At least not willingly. "OK," he said. "I'll bring you your books. But you have to promise me that you'll be careful. And that you'll let us help you."

"Believe me," said Raven. "If it's what I think it is, I'll be needing all of your help."

* * *

The day was gray. Robin looked up at the sky. Then down at the earth. Gray. Brown. Gray. Brown. He looked to his left. Black. His right. Black. He looked at the forest about thirty feet in front of him. More black. 

The trees were bare and foreboding. The leaves were brown and dead and littered the ground.

All the pretty colors of fall had fled this place. The place where death walked.

Robin felt he had been here before. On either side of him, his friends were grieving in their own way.

He felt restless. The casket was closed. He didn't know who was inside of it.

There was some sort of woman. Robin deduced she was from some new-age religion. She spoke over the dead. He broke away from the crowd of mourners. He approached the casket. No one stopped him. His fingers glided over the ebony. No one said anything to him.

He looked up. On the barren branch of a dead tree was a large raven. It was watching him intently. Robin walked past the casket and towards the forest. The raven seemed familiar. He felt as though he had forgotten something.

But as he approached the forest, the raven took off from the branch. Instead of retreating back to the service, he followed it.

The trees rose tall and foreboding all around him. The dead leaves crunched underfoot. As he walked, the day grew darker. Until he could barely make the outlines of the trees.  
Somewhere in the distance, a raven cawed.

What day was it, Robin thought. What hour?

There was the sound of scuttling. Robin felt in his pocket and found a book of matches. He tore one off and lit it. In the dim match light, Robin saw hundreds, possibly thousands, of tiny little creatures, all scuttling around on the forest floor. They crawled over his shoes where he stood. He couldn't make out the dead leaves anymore. They crawled on the tree trunks.

They were all a poisonous shade of green.

As he watched them, he finally identified them as tiny cockroaches that were crawling everywhere.

He lifted his foot to take a step and the ones on his shoes fell to the ground and immediately covered any empty space he could set his foot down.

Robin wondered dimly if it had been a mistake lifting his foot off the ground. The event of crushing some roaches underfoot was pretty much inevitable now. They were everywhere.

As hideous as they were, Robin did not want to harm a one of them. But he had to keep going. He had some sense of urgency. There was something he had to do.

So he put his foot down and felt the squishing crunch of crushed cockroach shells. He thought he heard them screaming. It was at that exact moment that all the roaches stopped in their scuttling. Then, they began again, with a new fervor, as they all began to gather in one place. The pile of cockroaches grew and grew. Robin's match burnt down to his thumb and forefinger and burnt him. He dropped the dead match and the matchbook. The light disappeared. The scuttling continued and rose in a crescendo of squealing and shuffling. And then, just as suddenly, it stopped.

Something was walking towards him until Robin could feel it's presence an inch in front of him. There was a scratching sound and then a spark as a match game to life. The one who lit it held the match between their two faces. Robin could see the face clear as day.

It was Beast Boy.

His teeth seemed extra sharp in the sinister match light. Beast Boy pushed Robin down on his back. He wielded a wooden knife.

"You think bugs are insignificant," Beast Boy said, as he kneeled down by Robin's side. "You think you can just step on us. Ignore us. Now the bug bites back."

Beast Boy began the incision at the base of Robin's neck and drew a line straight down to his naval. He could feel the slice burn and ooze with blood as Beast Boy cut him open. Robin's chest cracked open.

Out with the blood oozed a thousand tiny spiders.

Robin screamed.

Somewhere in the distance, a raven cawed.

* * *

The moon began to rise on the night of the 31st. She milked every ounce of fear her prey was giving her. It overwhelmed her. For a while, he'd pretended to be brave. It didn't stop him. 

She stole his dreams from him, drank his memories like sweet nectar. Her fingers began to extend as she traced a line along the length of the middle of his chest, from base of his neck to the top of his naval. He shivered at her touch. Her strength began to grow.

All she needed was a few more hours. By the end of the night, she would have her body. She was already well-nourished by his mind. The process was almost complete. And then she would have until the end of the year to experience everything carnal. All the things she missed from being alive, the cool sweet taste of vanilla ice cream, the soft scent of pumpkin pie, the sweet melody of a friend's whispered secret, the warm velvet of a lover's touch. The sight of a sunrise. She would have electric blue eyes. She would have real hands. She would be truly alive again.

Until the body began to decay badly enough that she was forced to leave the shell for dead. It would take about a month, six weeks at best. If she was really careful, a body could last her up to two and a half months.

Of course, she was rarely careful.

She began to hum to him again.

"Romeo is bleeding to death. To see a friend bleed to death, and what for, some kind of metaphor that I can't see…"

Something interrupted her thoughts and she was alert immediately. It was the same presence as before. She tried to block the demons mind, but the veils between their reality and hers were thin now.

She both adored and cursed Venus. Its miniscule alteration of Earth's energies greatly increased the efficiency of her transformation, but it also made it easier for others to interfere.

She ground her nonexistent teeth and hoped that by the time they realized what was going on, Robin would be hers.

* * *

_**Disclaimer: **_"Romeo is bleeding to death..." is a quote from Funeral For A Friend'ssong "History." Um... For the record, some of the songs I've been listening to as I wrote this. Funeral for a Friend, obviously, and My Chemical Romance "To The End" (which is kind of Robin's anthem in this fic), and Brand New "Seventy Times 7." I don't know why I told you that. 


	10. Stay

Robin opened his eyes to find himself in the metal chair he'd been sitting in before his mind had led him astray. He stood up and walked around the infirmary, taking in every detail of the scene. His hand stroked the bed sheets. His fingers walked across the monitoring devices. He faintly smelled the aroma of ammonia in the stale air. It was stuffy in the room.

This felt the most real. But it was impossible to tell anymore. Not after what he'd been through.

The door behind him opened to reveal a lone Raven. She was inscrutable. But then, she always was. She took a step into the room then hesitated. They stared at each other a moment. She took another step then held herself back again. Finally, she broke into a sprint and threw her arms around him.

Robin was a little more than surprised as he awkwardly hugged her back. When she broke away, she looked him in the eyes. She reached for his mask a moment and touched it, as if to remove it. Robin pushed her hand away. Raven looked down, then up at him again.

"I'm sorry," she said, "for the things I said earlier. I just miss you."

She took a few steps backwards, then turned and ran. Robin scratched his head. What the hell was that?

Then, Cyborg entered. "I saw Raven running down the hall. I just wanted to tell you that we're back. And we're here for you."

Robin nodded. "What was the trouble?"

"H.I.V.E. Five being punks," said Cyborg with a shrug. "We wrapped everything up. Could have used you though."

"Right…" said Robin. There was silence for a long time.

"I can't imagine what it's like," Cyborg finally said, as though he'd been keeping it to himself for a while, "to live in two worlds at the same time. To not be sure of anything anymore. Logic doesn't help you. Reason's out the window."

"Mm," Robin muttered, staring at the floor with his arms crossed.

"And… I know you don't trust us," Cyborg continued. "At least not fully. Not yet. I can't blame you." He looked as though he was waiting for some sort of reply, perhaps a denial or a reassurance or even an agreement. Robin gave him nothing. Cyborg bit his lip. "I do know that I want you here. That we all want you here. They'll all tell you as much. We're worried about you, Robin. We're damn scared."

"I'm scared too." It came out in a whisper. Robin wasn't sure why he'd said it at all. But Cyborg looked up and smiled faintly, grateful for his participation in the conversation.

"Listen," said Cyborg. "It doesn't have to be like this."

"Oh?" said Robin, doubtfully. Cyborg held out some pills.

Something told Robin that taking those pills would be a death sentence. He pushed Cyborg's hand away.

"I don't need drugs," he said. "I can help myself."

"Still as stubborn as always I see," said Cyborg, putting away the pills. "Look. I really want you to take those pills. But I know that forcing you is not the best way to go about it. So I'm just going to wait for you to come around." Cyborg turned to leave but hesitated in the doorway. "But… just know… soon enough you'll have to choose between our world, and the world your head created for you."

Robin stared at his back, trying to read the expression in his voice and failing. It was a mixture of grief and fear. He couldn't quite tell.

"I hope you choose our world," said Cyborg, and then he left.

Robin considered going after him, but held himself back. He fell onto the bed. He didn't know what to do. Maybe a look around his room would calm his nerves.

The pictures on his dresser were exactly how he'd left them. His suits were hung neatly in his closet.

_At least they haven't been trying them on,_ Robin thought to himself, amused.

"Robin?"  
He turned to greet the Tamaranian with a smile. "Hello, Starfire."

She had been crying. "Please," she said. "Please, take the medicine."

But he was averse to taking it. Something about them smelled of death. "I… don't know Starfire."

"I do not wish to lose you again," she said through her tears. "None of us wish it."

"I know," said Robin. "I understand." It was a lie. He didn't understand anything. Not anymore.

"Beast Boy was going to come with me to see you, but he was afraid."

"Beast Boy's afraid of me?" Robin asked.

"Not of you," Starfire explained. "He says that he is afraid you will not know who he is. That you will do the freaking out and start screaming at him. He says that you have the given him Willy. I do not know who that is, but he does not sound pleasant."

Robin nodded. "I get why he's scared." And that wasn't a lie. "He doesn't want it to be the last time he talks to me, lucidly. He thinks I'll flip on him."

"You should speak with him," said Starfire.

"I will," said Robin. "Later." He sat down on his made bed and felt the cotton sheets beneath him. Starfire took a seat next to him.

"I care for you," said Starfire, taking his hand in hers. "Very much."

Robin stroked her hair. "I know. I want to stay."

But even has he said it, the scene began to fade again. And Robin was once more plunged into darkness.

* * *

Robin felt a thousand claws tearing at his flesh. He tried to scream only to realize that his vocal cords had been torn out. He tried to see, but something had scratched out his eyes. 

He heard wings and loud cawing coming from all directions. It tore at his ears.

And then it was silent.

"Rob, man? You OK?"

He was breathing hard. His heart rate was rapid. "I think so." He looked around. It was just Cyborg in the room with him.

A smile slowly spread across his face and he started to laugh with relief, as though letting out an insane amount of tension. "Aw, man, you don't know how good it is to hear you say that."

"Cyborg?" The voice was Raven's as she entered the infirmary. She stopped and her eyes widened as she saw Robin awake. She ran to Cyborg and held onto his arm, a peculiar gesture for Raven. "He's awake?"

"Yeah," said Cyborg, kissing her on the forehead. Even more strange. It made Robin's blood boil. And that was the strangest of all. "I guess a year of working finally paid off," he said with a laugh.

"We should tell the others," said Raven.

"No kidding." He nodded at the door. "Go." Raven nodded at him, then looked at Robin and smiled. She was gone.

"A year of what now?" Robin said.

"You've been in a coma," Cyborg explained. "We thought…"

"What's with you and Raven?" Robin asked, sounding colder than he'd intended.

"Well, since you've been gone," Cyborg began, "I've had to take over the team for you and stuff. Titan's East stepped in and helped out a while, but eventually we found a replacement for you… You'd be proud. The team's running great. Beast Boy actually spends more time training than playing video games and—Oh! Starfire is engaged!"

Robin stiffened. "To who?"

"You won't believe it," said Cyborg. "Speedy."

"Who's the new Titan?" Robin asked.

In answer, she walked in. Robin's heart stopped. She was holding hands with Beast Boy. Starfire and Raven followed them in. They were all in shock.

"Terra," Robin said coldly.

"No worries, man," Cyborg said quickly. "She's cool now. She remembers everything, and I had a talk with her. Once she trusted BB and I again, she was ready to step up. And boy, would you be impressed. She even beat your best time on the obstacle course! Of course, then _I _beat _hers_."

"Oh Cyborg, don't forget about the fox," Terra said, playfully. They all laughed. Robin didn't get it.

"Inside joke," Cyborg explained.

"I see…" said Robin.

Raven walked over and took Cyborg's hand. He looked down on her lovingly. It made Robin's blood run hot with jealousy. They were all smiling back at him, but he couldn't return it. They were all happy.

Cyborg was a better leader than him.

"Well, when do you want me back in action?" Robin asked. Cyborg and Raven exchanged looks.

"Well, er, Robin, that's just it," Cyborg said. "You're pretty much retired now."

"What?"

"Well, you're welcome to stay in the tower, but… I mean…"

"You don't need me anymore," Robin whispered. He understood. This was exactly what he thought would happen if he was gone. The team did better without him. Cyborg was always the better leader. He just never had a chance until…

"Why was I in a coma?" Robin asked, but by then they had slipped away from him. A wolf howled in the darkness. Something gargantuan and green appeared on a hill, silhouetted in the light of the full moon.

It carried a body in its mouth. A chill ran down Robin's spine.

It bounded towards him. Robin was ready to fight it… When he realized it was Beast Boy. Beast Boy, the way he was when he'd come in contact with that chemical… And in his mouth…

The torn and bloody remains of what used to be Raven was spat at Robin's feet. Robin remembered this dream. This was a familiar one. He'd had it only once before, but it had stayed with him.

It was the one where his worst fears on that night were confirmed. It was the one where instead of apprehending Beast Boy and Adonis, they had failed, and Raven had been mauled to death. Only it wasn't Adonis who killed her. It was Beast Boy.

And now was the point in the dream when Robin ran. He took off for the forest and again there was the blackness, the scuttling, the ravens cawing at him. He tripped and fell and swallowed the roaches. He felt them crawling all over him, everywhere. He spat them out of his mouth, he tried to scream. But as he breathed in, a cockroach got stock in his windpipe. He choked, he sputtered, her felt its tiny little feet moving in the back of his throat. He tried to cough it up, but it was stuck. He couldn't breathe. His lungs began to collapse in on him. He couldn't breathe.

And then the beast came upon him. It ripped at his chest, tearing off strips of flesh.

And then Robin was gone again.


	11. Succubus

_**Author's Note:**_ Hello, I'm back. The epilogue will be posted at midnight (Pacific time) tonight (3AM Eastern). Just so you know.

* * *

He found himself coughing by the beach by the Tower.

"I'm sick of this," Robin said. "I can't even die."

"Maybe that's a good thing."

Robin looked up to see he wasn't alone. Raven stood there, her blue cloak fluttering in the wind. He smiled ironically and gave a curt laugh. "Of course. It's you again."

She kneeled down next to him in the sand. "It took a lot of effort to get here," she told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't screw it up."

"And what's happening now?" Robin asked her. "Am I schizophrenic? Am I engaged to Starfire? Am I in love with you?"

Raven withdrew her hand in shock. "I can't answer any of those questions."

"You can never answer my questions, can you?" Robin snapped, angrily. "Fine. I don't care anymore. About anything at all. You've put me through hell. I'm not playing anymore."

He fell flat on the sand. He really didn't care. So what if he was schizophrenic? OK. And if he was dying, in a coma somewhere… well then that was fine too. And if something was eating his soul, well then by now there must not be much left to scavenge anyway.

He was losing himself. He was losing his identity, his memories, his spirit, hell, even his stubbornness had faded away.

"I am not myself…" He muttered.

"And neither am I," said Raven. "Or more importantly, I'm not who you think I am."

"Don't you think I know that by now?" Robin snapped at her. "I'm not that dense."

"I mean," Raven explained, "that I'm not your enemy."

Robin scoffed. "No, then. I suppose you're here to _save_ me."

She looked at him curiously and then rose to her feet. "Get up."

"What?" Robin said, with another scoff. She kicked him.

"I said get _up_!"

"What are you doing?" Robin asked with a sigh, but rising to his feet nonetheless.

"When you stabbed me," Raven began, "I was weakened. I needed a little help from our friends. So we combined our strengths."

"What are you talking about?" Robin asked, wearily.

"She is saying that we have come to help you defeat your villain."

The voice had come from behind him. When Robin turned, he half-expected to find Starfire bleeding in her wedding dress. But what he saw was not Starfire, the bride. She was like Raven: normal.

Robin opened his mouth to speak, when he was interrupted.

"We're not gonna let you go that easily, dude." To his left, Beast Boy stood proudly with that goofy grin of his. He wasn't cockroaches. He wasn't some giant animal. He was just Beast Boy.

"Face it, Rob," came a voice behind, "We're lost without you."

Cyborg was not the same. He was weary. He was worn. He was rusty. He did not look like the shiny, happy Cyborg who had replaced Robin so easily as leader of the team.

But Robin did not believe any of it for a minute. He screamed at the sky.

"For God's _sake_, Terra, you sly evil little parasite, just leave me the hell alone!"

Robin pushed past Beast Boy and walked up towards the fake Titans' Tower.  
Of course, his pseudo friends followed him.

"Did you say Terra?" Beast Boy's voice trembled slightly when he spoke.

"You know what I mean," Robin muttered.

Raven cut him off. "No, we don't," she said, sounding angry. "Listen, Robin, I know you must have gone through a lot. But you have to accept that it's really us this time."

"Like I accepted it was really you last time," Robin snapped. "And then the time before that. And before that."

Raven grabbed his shoulders. "I brought the others with me so I could persuade you that we were real. I thought that if we all came…"

Robin pushed her hands off of him. "And then I'll wake up in the infirmary from a coma, or a schizophrenic episode, or because I fainted, or because you just stole all my organs, or because I just fell over and hit my head."

"Would it help if we told you something that only we could know?" Beast Boy asked.

"No good," Raven answered for him. She looked at Robin. "The leech is taking everything from Robin's own memory. Everything he knows, it will also know."

"Oh, so now there _is_ a parasite," Robin said. "Great. Make up your mind, why don't you."

But Raven thought she'd made a break through. "Yes!" she said, catching his arm as he tried to walk past her. "It's called a succubus. It's a form of body snatcher. It plagues its victims with nightmares and feeds on their memories. It's eating you alive, Robin. And then it's going to become you. It will walk with your legs and talk with your mouth until it rots, and then it doesn't care where it dumps the rest of you."

Robin looked at his arm where Raven had grabbed him. He looked up at Raven and realized something. "You're limping."

Raven opened her mouth, then closed it. She nodded. "Yeah. I got stabbed. Maybe you'll remember."

He did, but only just. "Who are you?"

"I'm Raven," she said.

Robin paused. "I… I don't know where I am."

Raven looked at the other Titans. "We're losing him," she said. "Cyborg, what time is it?"

" Quarter to twelve."

Raven looked panicked. "Don't do this to me, Robin. Not now. Please."

He looked at her blankly. He had forgotten what they had been speaking about. "Raven…" he tasted the name. It warmed him. The emotion seemed alien to him now. "Raven."

"Yes!" she shook his shoulders. "And if you don't listen to me now, you will die. You don't have to believe me, hell you don't even have to trust me, you just have to realize that you have _no choice_. What's the worst that could happen if you listen to me?"

Robin knew that she was right. Something in the fog of his memory told him that there was something urgent afoot. And Raven sounded like she was willing to get him out of it. He nodded. "What do I do?" he asked her.

Raven looked to her friends. But they were all looking at her for what to do as well. She looked at Robin. "We fight," she said.

"Or we could just, you know, talk it out."

The Titans were stunned at the voice. They spun around to see Terra, smiling at them. Cyborg did a quick headcount. "Um… I don't think she's supposed to be here."

"Terra?" said Beast Boy, breathless.

The ghost girl smiled at him. And with a wave of her hand, they all looked different. Beast Boy grew into the monster. Raven was in a red dress. Starfire was in a bloody wedding gown. And Cyborg looked intimidating.

Robin backed away immediately from all of them, shaking his head, scared. "No." he said, and bumped right into Terra. He spun around and looked at her, and remembered the cat eyes. He pushed her away. "_No_!"

"I'm in a dress," said Raven, dully. "Yay."

"Mine is stained," said Starfire, studying her gown. "What is this?"

"Why the hell am I this thing again?" Beast Boy asked, his voice coming through in grunts and howls.

Cyborg was rejoicing. "Hell yeah, I have upgrades I didn't even _know_ was possible! Booya!"

But Robin was neither confused, nor excited. He was scared.

His friends had never seen their Fearless Leader so fearful before. He backed away from all of them like a child who was facing the monster in his closet. He was especially wary of Terra. But Terra's eyes were on the intruders.

"How dare you interrupt me," she hissed, her voice sounding like a serpent. "Before I even began my finale."

"What finale?" Beast Boy dared.

Terra slowly morphed. Black and orange, the colors of Halloween, swirling. A haunting mask. Angry eyes.

It was Slade.

Raven looked at Beast Boy out of the corner of her eye. "You always have to ask, don't you?"

Slade laughed. The resemblance was uncanny. He was exact in every detail. Swiftly, he grabbed Raven by the wrists and held her in the air. "I told him you were dead," he said. "And dead you're going to stay."

Slade heaved Raven into the wall of the tower as the sky began to grow dark and cold.

"Titans, Go!" Cyborg screamed. Starfire and Beast Boy looked at him, both looking doubtful. Beast Boy's furry eyebrow was cocked unusually high. He gestured at his form.

"Uh… dude???"

"I do not know what he is saying, but I echo his doubtful tone," said Starfire.

"We don't have time for this," Cyborg insisted, already blasting Slade. Starfire shrugged and took to the air. Beast Boy rolled his eyes and bounded into battle.

A timid Robin crawled his way over to Raven as the Titans fought. He lifted her head gently.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he whispered. "I just wanted it to stop."

Raven smiled up at him and reached a hand to touch his cheek. She radiated with warmth. "Just keep me awake…" she said. "All that thing needs to do is beat us until our minds can't take it anymore. Just enough force that would render us unconscious in the real world, and then we're gone. You'll be alone again."

Tears leaked through Robin's mask. "I don't want to be alone." He whispered.

"I don't want you to be alone either," Raven said, her eyes set. "Now help me up."

Robin threw her arm across his shoulder and helped her to her feet. Slade was using all his firepower. Including that which was bestowed upon him by Trigon.

"He's pulling every nightmare you've ever had to the surface," Raven explained as Starfire and Slade exchanged blasts while Beast Boy prepared to launch into the fray. "Every doubt, every little fear, every twinge of guilt or anger or dread, it's all in here. The key to defeating him is just acknowledging it."

"I don't understand," Robin said, his voice weak. He was forgetting himself again.

"Try!" Raven insisted. "Everything you've seen, they were all made from your own head. Your own insecurities. Just admit that they're there. If there's a giant green elephant in the room, you're not going to be able to do anything until you say, 'wow, there's a green elephant in the room.'"

As if to emphasize her point, Beast Boy dropped out of the sky and landed on Slade as a giant elephant. Raven looked over her shoulder, then back to Robin.

"OK, that was completely coincidental."

"Hey! I got my morph back on track!" Beast Boy declared in triumph. But right as he reveled in his victory, Slade kicked him in the small of the back. Robin winced as he heard his spine crunch.

Beast Boy lay limp on the battlefield, face down in the sand. All of a sudden, all the memories Robin had of Beast Boy came flooding back into his mind. Every time Beast Boy had made him laugh, every little annoyance, every time Robin had snapped at him, every time Robin had underestimated him, every time Beast Boy always tried to prove himself, every time Beast Boy ended up saving the day…

"BEAST BOY!" Robin yelled as he left Raven behind and ran to the shape shifter. But by the time Robin kneeled by his side, Beast Boy disappeared.

Robin dug his hands in the sand where Beast Boy's body had fell.

"You see?" came Raven's voice. "The moment we die in this world, the moment we leave it."

"Is Beast Boy really…"

"No," Raven said. "I learned my lesson from last time. I cast a spell, so there was no correlation between what happens in our soul selves to our physical bodies. Beast Boy will wake up feeling a little sore, but he'll be fine. Consider it like playing a video game."

"It's not a game to me," said Robin, recalling his nightmares.

"I know," said Raven.

"Back in the graveyard, she told me… She made a deal with me. She said if I could kill her, I'd be free. But that the next time she kills me, I'll stay dead."

Raven looked stunned. "She actually _said_ that???" She looked at Slade. "What an idiot."

"What?" Robin said. "I don't get it."

"That deal she made still stands, Robin," said Raven. "When a succubus makes a deal, its bound by hell to keep it."

"But I've died a thousand times since then," said Robin.

"But not by her, I'll bet," Raven said, narrowing her eyes. "You were killed by your own nightmares."

Robin was watching Slade fight. He finally caught Starfire in a stream of liquid fire and she screamed as her flesh began to burn. Her wedding dress blackened as it was charred by the flames. And in an instant, she was gone.

That just left Cyborg. He fought fiercely. Until Slade's forceful bunch jammed his sonic cannon.

When Cyborg fired, the canon exploded, sending him rocking backwards into the sea. He sank beneath the waves and did not resurface.

Raven turned to Robin desperately. "As much as I would like to fight beside you, Robin, this is _your_ battle. I'll be gone in a moment, he'll kill me. But remember, you can _beat_ him!"

Robin looked at her blankly. He wasn't sure what to do. For a minute, he'd forgotten who she was. She turned away from him and faced Slade who was coming towards her.

"Every minute you spend in my world," said Slade, "is another memory I steal from you as well." And slowly, he morphed, into something large and a sickly leathery red. He sprouted horns. His four eyes glowed red.

"Oh no you _don't_!" Raven hissed, and she dived at him, before he could grow larger. But he was holding the sword Robin had pierced her with before and like a marshmallow she was skewered. She rolled her eyes.

"Damn irony!" she moaned before she too disappeared.

Robin blinked and it was Raven again in front of him. The long-haired, red dress Raven he knew all too well. She licked her lips.

"Come to me, Robin," she said, seductively. "I promise I won't bite."

Robin clenched his hands into fists. Seeing his friends die like that invigorated his thirst for freedom. He was going to get out.

"I'm not playing your games anymore," he said to her, breathing hard.

"Robin, you have no other choice," she whispered. "I remember when I was alive. I used to be a lot like you. In love with two people. I married the wrong one. And he beat me every day of my life. The other, well, when I needed him most, he abandoned me for another, prettier woman. I sold my soul to the devil to get my revenge on them. And then I became this. It is my curse. Be glad you will not suffer like I have. Think of it this way, I am doing you a favor. I'm saving you from the torment of the broken heart you're bound to have. Whomever you end up choosing, she will destroy you."

"I think you're a little confused," Robin said. "About who's destroying who."

She smiled wickedly. She was inches away from him now as she caressed his cheek. She smelt of lavender and mangos.

Robin imagined he was holding a gun. He imagined he would blow her brains out right there and they would splatter everywhere.

Cold steel weighed heavily in the hand behind his back.

She kissed him and he hesitated. Her tongue danced with his. She was a succubus. She was a pathetic ghost.

She was not Raven.

Her passion was interrupted mid-kiss. Her eyes shot open. Her lips grew cold. Lavender and mango dissipated into the air and all Robin could smell was rotting flesh. Her tongue withdrew and she spluttered, baffled. Her hands clutched her stomach, which was bleeding through her red dress. She looked up at Robin in disbelief.

He was still pointing the gun at her. "You'll let me go now," he said. "That was the deal."

She tried to laugh and coughed up blood instead. "Chose the gun over the drugs," she said. "Good choice."

And in a second, she was gone. And so was he.


	12. Epilogue: She

Robin awoke under a gravestone. He sat up. His neck was stiff. In fact, his whole body was stiff. The night was dark around him, but the stars winked at him from their place in the firmament. Opening his mouth, Robin felt his chapped lips tear apart. He licked them in a futile attempt to sooth them. He yawned. His throat was as dry as dust. Robin stretched and sat up and leaned against the headstone.

His communicator was crushed by his side. As he picked it up, it fell apart. Well, so much for calling his friends.

Every memory he had lost came flooding back to him. Of the dreams. The nightmares. Every word that was spoken to him, every terror he endured. It still made him ill to think about it. Raven had said it came from his own mind. Did he really have such horrible ideas lurking in his head? Robin knew it was true. He knew that if he hadn't realized that it was all his ideas, that she was drawing from his power, then he would never have been able to summon the gun. He would never have been able to defeat her.

He wondered vaguely who she was. She'd said that she used to be human.

And then Robin remembered that he was in a graveyard, leaning against a headstone.

He turned. It was an old gravestone. Covered in moss and chipped away. But he could still make out the name. 

_Delilah O'Connor  
1842-1874  
Beloved daughter and wife  
Bleach poisoning _

Curiosity pushed Robin further and he uncovered the grave stone next to hers.

_Michael O'Connor  
1833-1890  
First execution by electric chair in _ _California_

On the other side of Delilah's grave was another name that caught his eye, though Robin did now know why.

_Daniel Sullivan   
1840-1873   
Beloved husband and father   
Ricocheted bullet pierced him straight through the heart _

Robin wondered if these graves had any meaning. He supposed he'd never know. But if they did, then Raven was wrong. Not all of his nightmares had come from his own mind.  
Some of them were from her after all.

A song began in his head. He didn't know why. An old Irish funeral hymn. _The summer's gone and all the roses dying. 'Tis you, 'Tis you must go and I must bide._

He imagined a woman now, standing where he stood, with long blonde hair and electric blue eyes. She held a bouquet of lavender. She sang softly as she kneeled on the grave and traced the name. 

_But come ye back when summer's in the meadow   
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow  
And I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow   
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy I love you so _

_But if he come and all the roses dying   
And I am dead, as dead I well may be   
He'll come and find the place where I am lying   
And kneel and say an ave there for me _

_And I shall feel, though soft you tread above me   
And then my grave will richer, sweeter be   
For you will bend and tell me that you love me   
And I shall rest in peace until you come to me _

Despite everything, what she'd told him, she had always loved him. And that was why she'd been the maid of honor for his wife. That was why she was the midwife at their child's birth. That is why they continued to have an affair until her husband shot him in a jealous fury.

The wind played with his hair for a moment. He felt it swirl around his neck. He thought he felt the hint of someone there. But when he turned, he saw nothing. It was just the dead leaves at the base of the oak tree, rustling in the wind.

Robin smiled weakly. His eyes were dry. He took off his mask, initially to rub them into wakefulness. But as he looked at the world without the mask as a filter, he felt a better connection with this person. Delilah.

He ran his fingers across the top of her headstone. Then, he replaced his mask and turned his back on Delilah. It was the longest chapter of a book that had finally closed and Robin did not think that he or anyone else would ever open it again.

He walked all the way home from Greenville Cemetery on the city's outer limits. He did not arrive at the Tower until the sun was beginning to rise.

* * *

The elevator opened to a dark living room. The first rays of dawn were peaking their way through the curtains. Robin walked through the empty living room and up the stairs. He briefly contemplate going to bed. But then he reasoned that he'd been asleep for two weeks. 

He didn't know how he ended up there. But it was a different kind of not knowing then before. This time, he had just let his mind wander, and let his feet carry him wherever they wanted to go. His feet wanted to go to Raven's room.

He knocked quietly on the door. There was no reply. He knocked a little louder. There was a shuffling sound and a tired groan.

"Raven?" Robin said, his voice too dry from him to go above a raspy whisper.

The shuffling stopped. All of a sudden, the door whizzed open and there stood Raven. She had bags under her eyes and one of her hairs was sticking up in the back, but she stared at him in utter shock. Slowly, a wry smile spread across her features.

"I knew you'd make it," she said, nodding proudly. "If anyone could, it would be you."

Robin nodded. "It's good to see you too."

She didn't hug him. He didn't touch her. They just stood there, watching each other, for a full minute, until Raven finally decided it was time to tell the others.

It took no effort at all to wake up Cyborg and Starfire. Cyborg was just rising anyways, and Starfire could never sleep when she was upset. Beast Boy, however, was convinced they were a dream.

"No more tofu burgers for you," Beast Boy muttered, turning away from Raven, who crossed her arms.

"Beast Boy, didn't you hear me? Robin's back."

"Tell him I'll paint his sandbox in the morning…"

Cyborg shook his head and smiled. He shrugged. "What can I say, that boy would sleep through a tornado."

Robin smiled wearily and kneeled next to Beast Boy's bed. He put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. "Hey, Beast Boy," he said quietly. "I missed you."

Beast Boy's hand dragged itself across his chest and ended up on top of Robin's. He open one eye and gave Robin a toothy grin.

Seconds later, Robin was on the floor and a green Labrador Retriever was licking his face. Soon enough, he was a boy again, and his arms were around Robin's neck.

"I missed you too, Fearless Leader."

Robin looked at Raven over Beast Boy's shoulder. "Not so fearless anymore."

* * *

Robin sat in front of them in the metal folding chair. Starfire was crying. Cyborg was snapping his fingers in front of Robin's open eyes. Raven was in the corner, seeming as catatonic as Robin. And Beast Boy was pacing the room nervously. As Cyborg did the last of the tests, he straightened and turned to Starfire. 

"I'm sorry," he said, "but that's it. He's gone."

Starfire's weeping intensified. She tried to speak through her tears, but no one could make it out. Cyborg looked to Raven, but she only had eyes for Robin's waking corpse. She hadn't stopped looking at him since she first saw him in his catatonic stupor. He looked back to their leader, eyes wide open but oblivious to everything. He wondered what they would do now. He supposed he would need to call Jump City Psychiatric Institute. Again.

He shook his head to clear it of those miserable duties. "Damn fool," he said. "Stubborn as a…" He sighed and looked away. "He should have taken the medication."

Beast Boy stopped pacing and shook his head. "And I was too damn scared to just go in his room and tell him…" he trailed off. But Raven finished his sentence for him, her voice cold and dark, her eyes still never leaving Robin's blank stare.

"Tell him to please, just stay with us."

... ... …

**E N D  
**


End file.
